Coming Home
by Screwy
Summary: CC AU Michael left and had been missing for 8 years. When he comes back, his and their world is turned upside down as they individually confront the darkest, hidden pieces of their past. UPDATED 30/03/11
1. Max's Thoughts

**Coming Home**

**Disclaimer:** These characters aren't mine; they are property of Jason Katims and Melinda Metz. The song Oil and Water belongs to Majandra Delfino, a very talented singer/actress.

**Distribution:** Sure, take it. Just email the URL afterwards please!

**Summary:** Michael has been missing for 8 years…

**Authors Note:** This is a new style of writing for me; this story (the 1st chapter) actually came to me in a dream. So I figured I _had_ to write it.

**Max's Thoughts**

It's been 8 years since Michael left us. 8 years since he disappeared in the middle of the night with only hastily scribbled note left behind. A few lines of comfort. I've been searching for him for nearly as long. He was my brother, my family. Him leaving like that ripped us apart and I was more lost than I'd ever thought I would be.

It was typical that the day I decided to stop searching was the day I finally found him. Michael would appreciate that irony. He was in the last place I ever expected him to be, but that was always part of Michael's charm, wasn't it, to be unexpected.

The bar smelt of warm beer, urine and cigarette smoke. I coughed as the second hand smoke drifted into my lungs. Poisoning them. The seats were covered with various stains, the covers ripped and tatty, this wasn't a good place to be in. It had a menacing vibe from every corner…yet there he was! Laughing and joking with what looked like a bunch of college students. He must be 23 now.

I'd only stopped in to get a small drink and then be on my way back to Roswell. I never would have dreamed of looking for him in nearby bars, considering his past with his foster father Hank. He always said he would never touch alcohol after seeing what it did to his childhood. But I guess we all change.

I watched him silently from the corner, he was laughing. A real laugh. I can't remember if I had **ever **seen him laugh like that before. An inner green eyed-monster woke from it slumber and growled at seeing him so happy, after everything he had put us through. We, his _family_ were the ones who were meant to make him laugh and smile, not these strangers! It was probably the booze that lifted his spirits, but my envious feelings were still there, boiling under the surface. I hadn't laughed in a very long time.

He looked the same, a little older perhaps. His hair was the same, maybe a little shorter but still going for that electric shock style. But he really hadn't changed that much, physically anyway. Who knows about him mentally/spiritually or emotionally? Perhaps he's married? Perhaps he has children? Or perhaps he's still quite the loner. I don't know him anymore. A lifetime has passed since we last talked.

He was obviously drunk senseless, falling this way and that and pulling his buddies down with him. I don't think he could see me; I hid myself as much as I could behind other people and my leather coat. I watched him shake his can and spray the foam all over his friends. Were they celebrating? If so, what? The end of college? A birthday? The urge to talk to him was so strong; it hurt to tear myself away.

I took a last look and slipped out of the door and drove towards Roswell. I suppose if Michael wants to come home, he will. He knows that his family is here; ready to welcome him with open arms when he chooses to come home.

tbc...


	2. Michael's Thoughts

**Michael's Thoughts**

He thought I hadn't seen him. Just the _idea_ is ridiculous; even if I was blind I would've still felt his presence. Maybe it's an alien thing or maybe it's because he's the closest thing to a brother I could ever get, I've known him my whole life, and before that too it seems. What I don't understand is why didn't he come and talk to me? It's been so long….too long I think.

He looked different, sadder…older…haunted. Did I do that to him? Was it me that brought those early wrinkles to his forehead? That grey slightly appearing in his hair? Was it me that made him a darker person? That brought those circles to his eyes? I suddenly felt that nauseous churning feeling of guilt, and of course that ever constant pain of being home-sick was still present, only much stronger now. For 8 years I have managed to ignore that feeling, it's like a tearing in my chest, missing my home, missing my family…

The friends I was hanging out with are fellow art students. That's right; I finally found something I'm good at, apart from screwing things up or blowing them to pieces. For the past 8 years, I have wandered; trying to find out who I am and what I'm going to do with my life. Heh, who would have thought Michael Guerin screw up extraordinaire would go all philosophical on his life? Or even consider he had one on this godforsaken planet?

God the hurt I felt for the first few years, I saw Maria everywhere…every blonde girl, every nicely legged woman…I had to keep reminding myself that I had left her behind. Left her back Home. Funny how I only started thinking of Roswell as home the minute I left it. I did odd jobs here and there to get by; one of the perks about being alien is that you only really need about 3-4 hours sleep.

How I got started into Art College? Well, I saw a competition for a painting; the first prize was $1000. I remembered my teacher thought I had talent for art when I went through that phase of painting that geodesic dome. My first vision. First of all I didn't want to enter; just painting a bowl of fruit was so lame, but I really needed the money. So instead of painting a boring still life, I made a sort of Picasso effect and swapped certain parts of fruit with other parts. It was actually quite good, well they must have thought so anyway because I won first prize.

After some urging from my flatmate Rory, I applied to Art College. They accepted me after seeing a few pieces and even gave me a scholarship. I was speechless when they told me how much talent they thought I had. It was all so new and overwhelming….all of this praise. Praise directed at me! And now I practically get an A for every piece I do. I can control my powers now after much practice; I guess I was just too highly-strung, too erratic to be able to control them. Now I'm just as good as Isabel was. Isabel. Wow I haven't thought about her in ages. Is she a model now? A mother? Married?

I have this reputation in Art College now, because of my talent I have all of the girls throwing themselves at me…but none of them are Maria. She's ruined me for most other girls. Sure, I've dated. I've tried 'getting back out there' as Rory puts it. But it will never be what I want; _she_ will never be _who_ I want. Ex-girlfriends now tell other girls how there's no point trying with me, that I'm a 'Stone Wall;' no-one can get past these guards. I guess that's true in retrospect. The only person I'm fairly close to now is Rory, and only recently have I really been opening up to him.

The rest…those friends Max saw me with, all superficial. I smile, I nod, but none of it is real. None of it touches.

Oh god, this home-sick pain is really hurting now. Seeing Max made me remember something I had almost managed to make myself forget. My home. You know that thing, Out of Sight: Out of Mind? Well it works, to some degree. I want to see them now; I want to see them all, Isabel, Alex, Kyle, Liz, Tess, Max…._Maria._

Maria! I need to hear her voice. I looked down and my hands were shaking, a painful longing overwhelmed me, I need her. I need to to talk to her. I quickly rushed to the phone booth that was in the corner of the bar. I still remember her phone number, even after all these years. Fumbling, I dialled her number and heard it begin to ring.

"Hello?" Her voice was like a sucker-punch, pulling me down from my homesick hysteria. "Hello? Anyone there?" I couldn't speak - so many feelings, so many thoughts. I felt winded. Fire flooded her voice; she hadn't changed, not at all. "Look if this is a stupid prank then I swear if I find out who is doing this I will cut off your balls and - "

"Maria." I choked out. It was all I could say. She gasped.

"Michael?" Hearing my name once again fall from her lips after so long …it killed me. I panicked and slammed down the phone. I needed air! I stumbled out of the bar and took deep gulps of cold air, trying to calm down my pounding heart. Should I stay here or should I go? Every inch of my being screamed I should go back. Not indefinitely…just for a while.

Just for a short while.


	3. Maria's Thoughts

**Maria's Thoughts**

The night Michael left; he came to see me one last time. I was the only one he said goodbye to.

It was raining, and I was brushing my hair – singing a song that I had just written. I glanced out of the window and saw him there, soaked. Once again I brought him inside and dried him off. I stared into his eyes and remembered how many times I had done this. I remembered those steamy passionate kisses in the erasure room, those quiet nights I held him when he had his nightmares, those times I fought with him, the times I cried with or because of him, the times I had laughed with him….

Michael didn't say word; he just walked up to me, put a hand on my face and stared at me. There was a question in his eyes; I nodded, knowing exactly what I was answering yes to. Our mouths fused together in a desperate but still surprisingly sweet passion. I tore Michael's clothes off and looked lovingly at his chest, we fell into my bed and everything was a blur of hands, panting, warmth and that fire that raged between us. Though, it was bittersweet, Michael memorised every bit of my body, the curves, the feel…every touch of his held a sad resonance to it. I knew deep down what was wrong.

After we finished the most amazing experience of my life, Michael kissed me again. I closed my eyes and felt wetness on my cheeks, startled, I looked up and there he was, my bad ass, 'Stone Wall,' Michael Guerin…crying. I had only seen him cry once before. This gave confirmation to my deepest fear, a fear which had been hidden sine the beginning of our relationship - that unexpected heat wave. I guess that's why I said yes, yes to him taking the last of my innocence, I wanted him to have something of me, something to remember me by. I fell asleep in his arms, hoping that if I lay there he wouldn't be able to go. That he wouldn't be able to leave me.

He did go. He got at during the night, which awoke me too. I pretended to still be asleep, to see what he'd do. I could feel the heat from his gaze; I felt his fingertips brush across my eyes, across my cheekbones and trace the outline of my lips. Silent sobs wracked my body as he leant over, kissed me on the forehead and whispered; "I love you Maria, I'll always love you. I'm sorry I couldn't say it earlier." I heard the window being pulled up and then he was gone, just like that. I ran to the window, hoping he'll still be there so I could call to him and beg him to stay, dignity and pride were not an issue right then. But there was no sign of him. I looked on my dresser and found a piece of my writing paper. It was a letter from him.

_To my Maria, _

_I have to leave. I don't want to, but I have to go. I know you understand. I'm going to miss that, your understanding, not many people understood me like you did you know? Last night was incredible, I'll treasure every moment, though I'm so sorry for having to leave straight after. Please, don't blame yourself, there was nothing you could have done to stop this. You're the only thing in my screwed up life I feel like I did right, thank you for teaching me what Love is. I'm sorry for all those times I hurt you. _

_Please tell Max that I'm okay, that it wasn't his fault either. I just want to leave Roswell before I will get us into worse trouble than we are all ready in. Tell Isabel that I'm sorry but we all know that her and Max want to have a normal life, a normal family. I can't just live with the fact that there might be something better out there, something that will give me a clue of who I am._

_Maria, I need to find out who I am and I can't do that with my past around me. If I stay here I will always be the irresponsible screw-up 'Mikey' Guerin. I'm not going to give you any promises, I may not come back, but I want you to move on. Find yourself a decent guy who will treat you right, never hurt you and see just how amazing and beautiful you really are. I never deserved you, but I got you all the same. Something I am utterly grateful for._

_Oh god Maria look what you have done, you have turned me into a mushy…Max! Only someone with real power could do that. I expect to see your name soon on an album with a nice 8-year record deal. Maybe I might see you again in a concert with your name in lights. You're going places 'Ria._

_Love_

_Michael _

The next morning Max and Isabel called a meeting, I knew exactly what it was about. I looked at them, their faces drawn with worry about Michael and why he's missing. I remember the screaming and the shouting when I announced that Michael came to see me last night, the accusations from Isabel that I let him go, that it was my fault. I just sat there, waiting for them to finish. When they did, I stood up, pulled out my note and read out the bits that I was meant to say. Isabel demanded to see the rest of the note but I wouldn't let her, those things were private, something only I could read. Besides couldn't they see I was as much hurting as the rest of them, more even?

Max left a couple of months after Michael did, on a crusade to find him. I tried telling him that if Michael wanted to be found, he would be found, but Max turned against me. He believed it was my fault that Michael left and wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. I miss him, and his friendship.

But today, I got the shock of my life. After 8 years, Michael called me. I knew who it was before he spoke, I just knew it deep down inside. I look down at the phone, trying to make sense of it all. Why did Michael ring? Is he alright? Is he coming home? My heart flew up into my throat as I thought of him finally coming back, of finally seeing him again.

I race to my room and in a wild frenzy pulled out all of my things under my bed. Hidden behind a pile of clothes was a box, well, it's more of a hope chest really. In it were most of Michael's things that he left behind; his Metallica shirt, his sketch book with the drawings of his first vision. There were sketches of me in there, when Max gave me the book I started to cry again. There were so many sketches of me in there, me smiling, me laughing, me crying…he made me look breathtaking. Was that really how he saw me? In there is also his letter and my song book. Michael had always been my inspiration for songs, for the good and the bad. I know he told me to keep up with my singing but how could I? How could I write more songs if he was my muse? I flipped through the notepad, coming across one of my favourite songs. I had written this not too soon after he left, it's called Oil and Water.

Feeling inspired again, I went to my guitar and started singing;

He lit the fire in my heart  
And with the same flame  
Burned my world down stark  
I gave him the whole entire thing  
At first he gently held it  
And then got bored and started carving

_Love all one needs  
__What I need is to try healing  
__Then make sure I never  
__Fall back into that feeling  
__Love and I,  
__To one another never truly loyal  
__We don't mix too well  
__Love flows like water I burn like oil  
__Yet, I look around and there's all this water  
__But none that I should drink.  
__I notice now that I am oil and oil is  
__All that I should think_

A tiny pin prick came  
Little spurts of blood  
A little trickle long enough  
Can surely cause the flood  
But last night he sped the process  
He sliced it open  
Then walked away and cut his losses

_Love all one needs  
__What I need is to try healing  
__Then make sure I never  
__Fall back into that feeling  
__Love and I,  
__To one another never truly loyal  
__We don't mix too well  
__Love flows like water I burn like oil  
__Yet, I look around and there's all this water  
__But none that I should drink.  
__I notice now that I am oil and oil is  
__All that I should think_

So beautiful and capable  
Of bringing me good news  
Now the enemy with  
Knives and pins looking to bruise  
You fell out as quickly as you fell in  
You never fell at all  
I was just kidding

_Love all one needs  
What I need is to try healing  
Then make sure I never  
Fall back into that feeling  
Love and I,  
To one another never truly loyal  
We don't mix too well  
Love flows like water I burn like oil  
Yet, I look around and there's all this water  
But none that I should drink.  
I notice now that I am oil and oil is  
All that I should think_

Sighing, I climbed into bed and waited….waited for him

tbc..


	4. Michael's Return

**Michael's Return**

Michael stared at the Welcome to Roswell sign. Dawn was approaching, he could see the first specks of daylight appearing from behind the dusty red rocks, like golden jewels shining in the night sky.

_Jeez, what the fuck am I doing here? _He thought to himself. His panicked, homesick feeling had gone as suddenly as it had arrived, now he just felt stupid and queasy. _You've lost it man, you really have. Why come back now after all this time? What good is it going to do? You're just going to screw up the happiness they've got now. That's what you are after-all, a screw-up right? Do you think they'll be happy seeing you? You did what you were good at, you ran away. What about Maria? Do you think she'll be happy? She's probably gotten settled now, got a normal boyfriend, a happy life, do you really want to ruin that for her? Though of course you had to call her... you're so fucking stupid! _He normally gave himself great pop talks like these, boost the morale and all that shit. Periodically that voice switches from his own to Hanks, it puts him down, tell him how worthless he is...sometimes you see, he would forget, so Hank would always remind him.

_Enough of that pitying shit. Get to work,_ he told himself and with a sigh he dropped down to the floor next to the sign and sat down. Should he turn back? A few more steps and he would be in Roswell for sure. _You've come this far, it's too late to turn back now. _He looked out into the vast desert beside him, that place was more home than anywhere else really. The hours he used to spend there, hiding from Hank's fists, hiding from questioning teachers, searching for his true home, practising his powers, learning how to be strong so he could protect his family. So he could protect Maria. Maria. Her voice echoed in his head...she had said his name. Michael glanced back at the direction he had come from, he was right, he had come too far now to turn back. With a steely gaze and a clenched jaw, he hopped back inside his brick red Chevelle and drove into his home: Roswell, New Mexico.

However, as always, there was one slight problem...he didn't know where he was going to go at 3am in Roswell. Isabel...Max...they had probably moved out of their house now, got a place of their own, he couldn't just turn up at the Evans's, climb through the bedroom window and everything would be fan-fucking-tastic. No. Things will have changed. Michael drove around randomly for a while before finding himself outside of the DeLuca residence. All of the lights were out except for a soft, glowing, blue light coming from inside Maria's room. He smirked. Maria had always been afraid of being completely in the dark when she slept. Why hadn't she left home? Wasn't she always wanting to leave Roswell, to sing, to become a star? He really believed she would have made it, her name in lights and everything.

Michael got out of the car and stood outside of her window, the air was fairly cool and he felt like he could just stand there all night. Instead, he quickly climbed up and and peered through the window, she was sleeping, she looked just as beautiful as she used to, more even. Though now as he stared harder, he could see faint worry lines on her face, which had never been there before...had he caused these too? Like the ones with Max? Just as he was staring at her, drinking her image in, her eyes snapped open and pierced right through him.

He had forgotten the magnitude of her eyes, giant emerald burning spheres that shimmered and held more strength and vulnerability than he had ever seen in anyone else. Her eyes bore into his and suddenly he didn't feel so steady. _Get a grip Michael! Be a stonewall. A stonewall. Nothing can get in._ Michael took a deep breath and squashed all of his fluttering feelings to that **other place**. He often felt like inside of him there were two places, an icy empty box in mid air and a swirling pit beneath it. Whenever he felt himself...well...feeling too much, he would push it all into that pit of emotions swirling around and then he would just stay in the box, removed from his feelings, completely neutral. He tried to squash these intense feelings that were threatening to overwhelm him, but they wouldn't go away, they just stayed. The longer they stayed the more it felt like stabs of ice and afire into his heart. How did she have such an immense effect on him?

Maria's eyes smiled slightly and then she sat up. She knew he was coming back, after the phone call she knew it would be that night. She heard his car pulling up near her house, and she heard him climb up to her window. Quickly she glanced at him before motioning for him to stay there, there was no way he could come into the house without waking her mother up, besides, she wanted time alone with him so they could talk. It had been such a long time.

Maria shut her curtains and quickly pulled on a pair of jeans, a strap top and a jacket along with her sneakers, taking a quick look in the mirror she smoothed down her hair which had grown considerably since he had left and set off as softly as she could down the stairs into the kitchen. Suddenly it hit her, _Michael's outside...Michael's outside...Michael is outside my house, he's by his car, Michael is waiting for me outside of my house. Oh my god. Oh my god. He's back. Michael is back and he's outside. _8 years she had been waiting for this, 8 long years and now he was back. She felt so nervous she thought she might throw up, taking two long breaths she steadied herself on the kitchen table before smoothing her hair down again with shaking hands and leaving out the back door with it on latch.

Michael was there as she expected, leaning against the hood of his car. He still looked so gorgeous. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, as loud as drums they were. So many questions around in her mind, how long had she dreamed of seeing him again? How long had she planned on his return, what she would do, what she would say...now standing there, a few feet away from him, she froze. The words she had wanted to say for so long just dissolved under his intense stare. Trembling, she moved towards him, scared to death of what will happen next.

"Hi." Michael said huskily, he found it hard to speak when he was around her. She looked incredible.

"Hi." Maria breathed back, unsure of what to say, there was so much yet none of it would come out. His eyes however spoke volumes.

"We should talk. Do you want to go for a ride?" Michael asked. He didn't want to say there, he wanted privacy, somewhere nice and open...like the desert.

"Okay." Maria said. At least being in a car with him would be a bit more familiar, it was in a car that they first properly spoke. Hugging herself tightly, she allowed Michael to open the door for her before he went around and sat in the driver's seat. Then, with a little bit of noise, Michael revved up and sped down the road.

tbc...


	5. Michael's Return pt2

**Michael's Return**

**Part 2**

The car ride had been silent as they both tried to gather their thoughts. It hadn't taken long to get into the desert, Michael realised that somehow his 'random' driving had taken him right to the place he used to go to hide when he was a child. It was a small cave, no deeper than 2ft. He used to huddle in the back corner, waiting for the bruises to fade. Shaking himself out of his reverie, he looked at Maria. She was staring out of the window, chewing her lip, obviously in a world of her own; she hadn't even noticed they had stopped. Michael frowned. Even after all of these years, he knew that wasn't a good sign.

"We're here" He murmured, his eyes never moving from Maria's face, greedily drinking in her image. It had been so long. Maria nodded slowly and got out of the car, Michael followed her. They stood uneasily in front of the cave entrance, once again unsure of what to say.

"So, Mari-" He was cut off by a loud, hard, painful slap, sending his head flying to the side. Maria's eyes burned with 8 years of anger and hurt. Michael's cheek throbbed and he closed his eyes, feeling the oncefamiliar sting on his cheek. He waited expectantly for more slaps and hits, or a Maria-rant of how much he had hurt her and what a selfish jerk he was by just leaving her like that. Nothing she could say would be any worse than what he had already told himself.

But no more slaps came, no yelling or screaming or the typical angry Maria-tirade…instead Michael opened his eyes to see Maria crumpled on floor, her body shaking with the violent sobs erupting from her, the raw pain and emotion in each sob sliced through Michael and he realised that there was something worse that she could do. She could cry. Maria never cried, she was a DeLuca woman, Teflon Babe. Teflon Babes didn't break. But this is what he was responsible for, he had broken her.

"Oh I'm so sorry…" She gulped. Michael was confused. Sorry? Sorry for what, slapping him? Surely he deserved more than that. Sorry for crying? Was it a scared sorry? Did she think he'd hit her back? _'Women!'_ He thought,

For what seemed like an eternity, he stood awkwardly next to her, unsure as to whether he should comfort her. _'Maybe she doesn't want me to touch her. What if it just makes things worse? What exactly am I supposed to do? What if she slaps me again for it? Ahh Mickey-boy, you've really screwed up again haven't you?"_ He silently ranted to himself,but then when Maria continued to cry, he couldn't take it anymore. Sitting carefully down next to her, he pulled her to him, kissed her forehead and softly rubbed her back, whispering soothing sounds to calm her down.

"It's alright…its okay…" He murmured into her ear. It was heaven being this close to her again; she still smelt of jasmine and cedar, it was a smell he associated with home. He had found his home once more.

Maria looked up at him and softly brushed her hand against the cheek she had hit, a deep red welt was appearing on his cheekbone. "I'm so sorry…" She whispered again, a few tears fell down her face as she steadily gazed at him. "I shouldn't have hit you." The regret in her voice and the pain swimming around in her deep emerald eyes burned through him, waves of long-forgotten emotion erupted and squeezed his chest – making him unable to breathe. Feeling the sting behind his eyes he closed them again, fighting backthe tears that threatened to fall.

Maria watched him worriedly; she knew that had affected him. But on _that_ subject...his childhood...Michael's reactions were always unexpected. Except whenever it was mentioned, she could always count on him to clam up and shut down inside.Building the brick wall higher anddenser so no-one oculd see the torment inside.It had never failed to frustrate her. _'Then again, he might not anymore._' She reminded herself_. 'It's been 8 years, I barely know him now. Both of us have changed and grown and have experienced many different things. We're probably quite different from each other now. Not like the old days.' _But if that were true, how could she feel the same waves of fear, doubt and pain roll off him? How could she know that if she kissed him, he would still taste like Tabasco sauce and chocolate? How could she know, just instinctively, that he is the one for her? And that without him, she'd always feel incomplete?

"It really hurt you know…you leaving like that, just after…" She said in a small voice, catching Michael's attention. She avoided his eyes. Admitting that was like admittingshe wasn't as tough as she seemed, that he had hurt her, that he had _managed_ to hurt her… in her eyes it was admitting she was weak.

"I know." He murmured. Her eyes darted to his face; he gave a slight smile to show he understood. Maria inwardly sighed. They had always known exactly what the other was saying…and not saying for that matter. Michael sighed as well, shook his head and scratched his eyebrow, a habit he's always had when he's thinking or nervous. Maria bit back a smile at that familiar habit. Maybe some things never change, no matter how long it has been.

"I dunno what to say Maria…for 8 years I've had this speech runnin' around my head of how to explain why I left…but looking at you now…I dunno…to be honest I don't know how I managed to leave." The last part had been said quite gruffly, embarrassed at sounding so mushy. Michael watched for Maria's reaction, scared that he'd pushed it too far. He breathed a sigh of relief when she smirked at him. It was pretty funny though, when he thought about it.There they were a Teflon Babe and an Alien, who had gone against crazed FBI agents, homicidal aliens, they had faced death time over time...and the only thing they were both deathly scared of was admitting their feelings.

She leaned into him, laying her head on his chest andenjoyed finally feeling him there once more. She knew it wouldn't last, that soon she'd have to tell him the truth and then everything would change.. But for now she was happy, she was safe andin Michael's arms under the stars. "So have you seen Max or Isabel yet?" Maria asked. She already knew the answer, but was tired of talking about the past, they could get into that later.

"Not yet. I wasn't planning on seein' anyone tonight but I sorta ended up at yours." He always ended up at hers somehow. The mention of Isabel and Max brought back all of the questions he had after seeing Max in that pub. But before he could ask them, something caught his eye, a gleam from Maria's hand as she played with his shirt…darting quickly he pulled her hand closer before she could hide it,

"Michael! What are y-" Maria protested, but knew it was too late. It was a ring. She was married. Michael shot up onto his feet, and started to pace around. His mind was racing;

She had married someone. She was taken. She wasn't **His** Maria; she belonged to someone else. All these years he'd wanted her, been craving for her. Yet someone _else_ had been touching his Maria. Someone else has been the one making love to her, pledging his devotion to her, being her family and home, someone else had been her world, who she thought of, who she loved…it was silly to have thought that after all these years she'd feel the same way about him as he does about her. It would be stupid to believe she had been hanging on, waiting for him to return. Maybe this was for the best; at least she has a decent guy, someonewho isn't such a screw up…Michael squeezed his hands into fists and as he paced, each rock he passed blew up, shattering into millions of pieces.

"Michael!" Maria yelled. "Michael please calm down…" Seeing the fear in her eyes, Michael immediately sobered and sat down. He felt like he was being ripped in two. "Michael," Maria said more gently, "let me explain."

"You don't have to explain. I left you, you moved on, got yourself a great guy." Michael's jaw flexed as he spat out the last words, "I couldn't be happier for you."

"We're separated." She said softly. Michael's soft brown eyes searched her own, looking for any hint of a lie or misconception. He couldn't see any. _Separated? _He wondered to himself, his anger suddenly had evaporatedand all there was left was a hollow feeling of deep confusion. _Why separated? Did something go wrong? Did it have anything to do with him? _Michael almost hoped it was. Yeah…he wanted to be the bastard that had stolen Maria's heart. Something this guy couldn't have touched, or owned or laid a mark on.

"Why?" He had to ask. Maria closed her eyes; she knew he wasn't going to like this. Sighing, she took a deep breath and said the brief facts.

"I was on the rebound from…well…you. You leaving had really cut me up, and I thought part of it was my fault. I got pretty desperate at the thought of losing someone else again, and so I took whatever shit was thrown at me. But eventually it just didn't work in the end." Michael narrowed his eyes, she wasn't looking at him at all…she was just staring at her hands, twiddling her ring, avoiding his eyes.

His voice got sharper, "What do you mean you 'took a lot of shit'?" He continued to stare at her, something was up. She wasn't telling him something.

"Um…well…" She took a deep breath, her heart was pounding, she knew how he was going to react and it wasn't going to be pretty. She took another deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. "He used to drink and beat me a lot. One night he went too far, he raped me and put me in the hospital for a week."

Within a mile radius, every rock and solid object blew into pieces.

**"WHAT!"**

tbc...


	6. Broken

**Broken**

_Previously -_

_She took another deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. "He used to drink and beat me a lot. One night he went too far, he raped me and put me in the hospital for a week."_

_Within a mile radius, every rock and solid object blew into pieces. _

_**"WHAT!"**_

****

Maria cringed. She knew it had been a bad idea telling him. If only she hadn't been stupid enough to leave her ring on, she didn't know why she was still wearing it anyway. Hesitantly, she turned his face towards his, the basics was all he needed to know, "We're separated now. Have been for the last 6 months."

Michael watched her with stony, unreadable eyes. Her breath caught as they intensified with every passing second. "Who. Was. He?" He growled, his voice so low...so cold...that it sent a chill down her spine. He had punctuated every word with a step closer to her trembling frame. He was beginning to scare her. As Michael got closer she cringed once more, a habit that unfortunately had been developed over the past four years of her marriage. She suddenly felt like a cornered animal and her basic instincts were telling her '_fight_ or _flee_!' She chose the latter.

"Oh...it doesn't matter." She lied, trying to make her quavering voice sound as casual as she could. "I'm getting tried Michael. I want to go home, we can talk about this tomorrow." Maria held her breath as she gazed at Michael, trying to read what he might be feeling. After the explosion of rocks, the loss of control over his powers, he had shut down deeper into himself. His hazel eyes met her clear emerald ones and she saw in their depths raging pools of emotions. She could only just imagine what he may be feeling. A slow look of disbelief settled on his features as her comment finally registered.

"No, Maria." He spoke slowly again, as if he were talking to a child. Maria felt a flash of irritation at this, her body tensed up, but she didn't move away. "No, Maria." He repeated, carefully and deliberately. "What you're going to do is tell me who this motherfucker is, so I can find him and liquefy him from the inside." Maria's eyes widened at the murderous edge to his dark tone. She could almost feel the intense hatred and anger burn through him, emanating off him in waves. He was completely serious. She decided then if not for any other reason, she definitely couldn't tell him who he was. She couldn't make him into a killer.

"No. I'm going home Michael." She said as forcefully as she could and pushed past the alien's larger frame. Working on basic reflexes, Michael's hand shot out and grabbed Maria's wrist, the strength of his grip crushing her fragile bones, damaging her flawless skin. Maria gasped and winced at the sharp pain it sent down her arm. A whimper fell from her lips and a once familiar sentence was said in a rush. "Pleasedonthurtme." Her face flushed with shame at the instinctual response she had emitted. That automatic beg that she had learned throughout her marriage. Michael eyes were wide with shock, his gaze never leaving his hand that was bruising hers.

"I...I..." His mouth just opened and closed. He hadn't received any images from her, but he could easily see the depths of her inner wounds; they were deep and the scars would be permanent. But before he could think of a proper response, Maria snatched her arm away from him and stormed over to the car.

"Maria!" Michael called and ran up to her. _Fuck! What have I done now? _He thought with despair. _Its more what you didn't do that's the problem. Look at this, look at the pain of what you've caused. Always said you were worthless didn't I? _Michaels eyes squeezed shut, trying to block out Hank's voice, but it never went away. It never had. In some twisted way Hank was the most constant thing in Michaels life up to date. Even though he's dead. "Maria!" He called again. "Wait. Don't get in the car. What the hell is going on Maria? Why won't you talk to me?" Maria spun around, her eyes blazing fiercely, 8 years of heartache and anguish bubbled inside of her - turning it to sheer anger at the indirect cause of it all.

"_Talk_ to you? Talk to the great Michael Guerin? Mr Stonewall himself? Talk the only guy I ever loved, who abandoned me? Who abandoned all of us? You **_ran_** Michael! You ran and left us to pick up the pieces of our lives!" Maria stalked closer to him with every minute, tears streaming down her face as she screamed. "How dare you demand an explanation for the way I'm acting! How fucking dare you! You haven't been here, you don't know what I've been through. You don't know what any of us have been through. We could have been attacked. For all you knew, we could have been at war with your stupid fucking planet. Yet no calls, no letters, nothing. For 8 years!"

Michael was speechless, he had never seen Maria so angry... so bitter. He just stood there taking in every word, letting her hate rip his heart to shreds.

"...I almost began to wish you were dead, just so I could get on with my life. So I couldn't **hate** you for doing this anymore. But I knew you weren't dead, I knew it deep down inside, even when everyone else told me to think so. And now here you are, alive and well, shocked that the rest of us continued on with their lives, shocked that the world didn't stand still until you came back. Well fuck you Michael Guerin. Now that I know you're okay, I don't ever want to see you again." Maria slowly sank down against the car, sobbing. As she buried her head in her lap, she looked more so now like a wounded little girl, than he had ever seen before. "I just want to go home now Michael. Please, just let me go home." She muttered brokenly, tears still running down her pale and weary face.

Michaels heart clenched at the sight of her like this. He kept getting old flashbacks of Maria, seeing her so happy, with her eyes shining and her smile that just lit up his entire world. Now she seemed so pale, so tired, and too thin for his liking, she obviously hadn't been taking care of herself. He knew he had to fix this somehow, he had to get that light back in her eyes. She deserved to be happy. A strong wave of anger rose inside of him, he vowed that he would find this mystery husband of hers and make him pay for all that he had done to her. _Are you any better? _That lone voice whispered inside of his head. _You heard her, you **abandoned** them. You knew her father had walked out on her, and you did the same 10 years later. Would you even come close to making her happy now?_ Michaelshook away the sly whispering voice, and grimly muttered, "I will try."

Maria looked up at him, his presence looming over her would have been slightly more intimidating if she couldn't tell how much her words had affected him. He looked as emotionally drained as she felt. Without one word she stood up, opened the passenger side to the car and sat down. Then she quirked her eyebrow at him expectantly, waiting for him to do her bidding. Her body ached but inside she felt numb now, she knew after some sleep the enormities of what had happened here, would hit her full force. Michael got in the car and silently they drove back to the DeLuca Residence.

Just before Maria entered her house, Michael felt he had to say something. "Maria..." He started. Her eyes flickered towards his, waiting expectantly. It was at that look that he froze, suddenly any possible coherent thought left his mind and he knew it was too early to tell her what he felt. Too much had happened, he needed to earn her love first. "...have a nice long sleep Maria. Take care of yourself."

Maria's eyes shut, and she knew what he was saying. But she couldn't stop herself from asking what had been running through her mind all evening. "Michael...will you still be here tomorrow?" She knew he would get the full meaning behind those words. She was asking him to stay in Roswell, taking back her angry parting words.

Michael smirked slightly, putting on that false bravado he had learned in his time away. "Hey, you won't get rid of me that easily now." Maria gaped for a moment or two. She knew it was an act but she had never seen him pretend like that before. In the old days he was either shut off, or extremely expressive. Then with a small, hesitant smile back, she turned and fled into her house.

Michael watched her go, then with his mind reeling, trying to take the last hour or so in, he pulled out of the street and and drove. He needed to clear his head, to work out what move he had to make next. To make some sense out of all of this. He was quite tired, his meeting with Maria had completely drained him and as he drove around the deserted streets of Roswell, he felt himself start to drop off. Two seconds. That's all it took. His eyes were closed for two seconds and when they opened he found himself nearly driving into someone's house. Panicking, he swerved at the last minute and ended up hitting the green car that was parked outside. The crash sounded loud to his own ears. _Fuck! _He thought, as his heart beat rapidly against his chest._ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! _Michael groaned as he saw the lights in the house suddenly turn on, illuminating the new mess he had caused. _Oh well done Mickey. Well done. In one night you have managed to scare the woman you love, make her cry and crash your fucking car._ Michael didn't have chance to stop and wonder about calling Maria the 'woman he loved' because the door opened and out came running a tall blonde, clad only in her dressing gown.

"Oh my god are you okay?" Michael gaped at her._ Is that...? No...it can't be... _The woman bent down to get a better look at the man who had just ruined her family car. "Hey, are you hur-" But she didn't finish her sentence as her large brown eyes met Michael's shocked hazel ones.

"Isabel?" He whispered. The woman's hands began to shake.

_"Michael?"_

tbc...

**A/N: Wow thanks you guys for all of the reviews! So many of you have reminded me now to write more for this one. You really manage to kick my arse into gear. Please keep reviewing! I promise more parts will be on their way. I hope you like it :) **


	7. Haunted

**Haunted**

* * *

Maria sighed as she lay down on her bed. As usual she couldn't sleep; so like last night and the night before, she stared at her blank ceiling and let her mind wander. She tried to think about Michael and his return into her life, but it was too painful, she really couldn't deal with that right now. Instead, her mind wandered back to the memory she often replayed in her head, how everything all started…

_/flashback/_

The club: smoky and dim.  
The noise: deafening and overwhelming.  
The alcohol: strong.

Bright flashing lights illuminated the hoards of faceless people, writhing on the thumping dance floor, escaping from reality into whatever drug that was available. In the centre of the dance floor there was a sticky, dirty table where a few girls were employed to dance on. And there she was; a regular on the table, a ghost of her former self. Stringy blonde hair, lifeless dull eyes, and her bones were clearly visible through her pale skin every time she danced.

That heartache was now a constant pain, after so long it seemed to just be a part of her, she could barely remember then when she hadn't felt this way. Her bloodshot eyes darted around, searching the crowds, as she pushed her body to go through the same routine after routine, barely noticing the bald, middle aged men stuffing dollar bills through the thin straps of her black lace thong.

She knew those dollar bills would disappear the minute she found her dealer. He sold her anything she wanted that helped to escape the pain. Her dealer often gave her special deals and just enjoyed the sex as payment. So sometimes she could keep her dollars and pay her alcohol tab. Maria didn't really care; her body was numb and had been for a long time. Sex at least made her feel something, anything, which helped to fill the gaping hole in her chest.

It had been three years since Michael had left.

That night was the same as any other night in the club. She danced. She gave her dealer a blowjob. She snorted a few lines. She went back onto the dance table. After her third dance, she stumbled to the bar and ordered a glass of tequila.

"Yo, tight sista, let ol' duke get this." A thick New York accent sounded from behind her. She turned with a smile, and it froze on her face. Her vision clouded slightly. There he was, with the same brown hair yet styled differently. With those same hazel green eyes that sparkled and danced, a piercing through those same lips. That same smile…so charming, flirtatious and totally unexpected. Maria's opened mouth formed the question "Michael?" But no sound came. Instead, her eyes rolled up into the back of her head and she collapsed on the floor.

Maria awoke a few hours later. The first thing she noticed was that she was in a vehicle, and it was moving. Panicking, she sat up quickly and felt all of the blood rush to her head. "Fucking comedowns, such a crock of shit." She swore, and steadied herself before leaning forward to attack whoever was driving the car.

"Sweet ass baby gurl, I wudn' move if I were youse. Hit yur noggin pretty 'ard when you fainted. What's youse on, anyhow?" Maria lent back onto the seat as she struggled to remember what she had done during the night.

"Erm…coke, did a few speed pills I think. Had some tequila to wash it back."

"Well aint you sum kind of badass, da way youse goin your gunna kill yourself soon."

"That's the plan. Wait a minute. Who the fuck are you? How did I get in this car?"

Not-Michael chuckled, "Yeesh, don't have a freaky five on me, you dig? Name's Rath. I just swung by from New York – ment to be finding sum people here in Roswell….old family members…I guess you could call 'em. Big reunion and shit. You passed out, thaught it would be umm…"He grinned an eerily grin as he stared at her through the windshield "UnAmerican to leave ya there on da floor."

Maria sank her head down back onto the seats. Family Members. Michael. Not-Michael. Reunion. Her head wouldn't stay up, it felt like it was a balloon, ready to be sucked off into space. "Where are you taking me?" Her speech was slurred from the waves of exhaustion she felt rising over her.

"Your crib, read it offa back of your purse. Youse need a rest, I needs a place to crash for da night. Dunt worry, on da couch I know. Doubt I'd get any action tonight anyways, with you all coked up and half conscious." Maria yawned and nodded her head. She was too gone to even try and work out why this guy A) looked like Michael Gone Punk and b) Why he was taking care of her.

The last time she woke that evening was between the mists of semi-wakefulness. She was being held by strong arms, arms that brought back a thousand different memories, they were putting her down onto something soft…her bed? As the arms were being removed, her breath caught and she had never felt so much pain, the grief of losing Michael suddenly washed over her and she couldn't hold in her sobs. Not-Michael's hands stroked her hair and tried to soothe her down, she looked up at the blurry image of Not-Michael's face, and for a moment, she couldn't see the Mohawk or the piercings…all she could see was Michael.

"Please…stay with me. Just hold me." She pleaded, her large green eyes suddenly looking so lost, a child's pair of eyes that had seen too much pain in the world. Not-Michael nodded and slipped into bed with her, holding her close and whispering sweet nothings inher ear.

/end of flashback/

That was the first night Maria had slept in 2 years without needing the aid of drugs to calm her.

Maria sighed and rolled onto her front, burying her face in the pillow. That was the start of her and Rath; it had been a beautiful thing at first, until time destroyed them both.

Tbc..

(A.N : Thankyou all for your reviews, I suck at updating I know! But its been those reviews that have made me update this as quick as i have. Please, tell me what you think, any critiques? Ways to improve?)


	8. Tammy

**Tammy**

Michael slowly sipped from his warm coffee; on the cup it said World's Best Mommy in Christmas colours. As he glanced around he saw pictures of Isabel and Alex's wedding, in a group shot he could see Max and Liz there, Isabel's parents, Alex's parents…no Maria. _No Maria? What would stop her from coming to the wedding? What happened to Hurricane Deluca, when nothing could stand in her way?_ He wondered.

There were also few school pictures of a pretty 5 year old girl with Isabel's blue eyes and Alex's brown hair. Scattered around were dolls, paintings of a world with green skies and purple grass…_Okay shit so Isabel has a kid, Isabel is married…that's generally okay, I mean it's not like anyone has died right? _

He knew Isabel and Alex were waiting for him to talk, but they sat there silently, without any pressure, just waiting until he was ready. He took another sip and glanced up at Isabel, her face was red and blotchy from crying earlier. When she had realised who he was, she had dragged him inside and called Alex down from upstairs. Then she proceeded to cry, yell, smile and hug him all at the same time.

He couldn't handle it. _Why are women just so damn emotional? At least Alex had the decency just to stand and stare at me for a while, give me a "man pat" and comfort his hysterical wife. _He despaired. He knew he should have come back sooner, but what was he meant to say? Sorry? Where was he supposed to begin?

Finally the silence broke when a young, sleepy voice rose from the stairs; "Mommy, Daddy, whos 'at?" Alex looked at Isabel and she nodded ever so slightly.

"Tammy, come here sweetie." He said with a smile on his face. "There's someone we want you to meet." Tammy smiled and waddled up to Isabel on the sofa. "Okay Tammy, this here is your Uncle Michael, he's known your mommy for as long as Uncle Max has." Tammy looked over at Isabel with disbelief in her eyes.

"No it's true honey." She reassured.

"Why haven't I ever met him before?" Tammy asked.

_Well she's obviously got Alex's intelligence. I just hope she hasn't inherited Isabel's Nazi impressions. _Michael thought to himself. He smiled slightly at the thought but tried to keep focused at the surreal wonder that was in front of him. Alex and Isabel merged into one.

"I think I can answer that." He said, as Isabel and Alex floundered at the question. "You see kid; I left Roswell before you were born. Before Isabel got married actually which is why I haven't met you, I could have visited or called but I didn't think it was for the best." Michael then whispered loudly to Tammy, "You see…I was a very naughty kid before I left, always creating trouble, never listening to your mommy..." He winked at her and she giggled. "But I'm back," He said, now addressing Isabel who had tears once more in her eyes. "for good."

"There we are Tammy, now that he's staying, that means you can go to bed missy. I'm sure you can spend more time with Uncle Michael in the morning." Tammy groaned but it was half-hearted as she obviously was very tried  
"Night Mommy." She said and kissed Isabel on the cheek.

"Night precious." Isabel smiled. Then with no warning at all, Tammy threw herself at Michael for a hug.

"Night Uncle Michael, it was nice meeting you." Isabel started to cry softly again. Michael was touched…"Night kid." He said gruffly, trying to stop any waterworks. _Damn kids; always bring out the mushy in people. _Alex took Tammy up to bed, leaving him and Isabel alone.

"So Michael, where are you staying for the night?" Michael knew ot wasn't really a question, one look at her determined face told him he would be staying here tonight anyway.

"Uh…I was gunna get a motel room."

"What pay to sleep in a filthy disease pit like that? No, you're staying with us." Michael smiled, she hadn't changed. "Have you seen any of the others since you've been back?"

_That's it, Maria, I was going to ask her about Maria. "_Well I did see Maria for a while…" He said, carefully analysing Isabel's reaction. He wasn't disappointed.

Isabel immediately flinched at Maria's name, and didn't move her eyes from the floor as she spoke to him.

"So what did she tell you?"

"Not much. Just that she was married to an abusive husband!" He angrily said, but then dropped his voice as he remembered Tammy was sleeping. "She didn't tell me his name, or how it started, or why nobody tried to stop it. In fact I haven't heard any mention of her best friends, and why isn't she in your wedding photos? Please…please Isabel," He pleaded, letting his soft brown eyes stare up at her red-rimmed blue ones. "Please just tell me what happened to you all."

"Michael, a lot has happened to us in the past 8 years; wouldn't you prefer to sleep first? I bet you're exhausted."

"No Izzy, I can't, not with all of these unanswered questions. Just tell me what happened."

"Look, what Maria went through was immense; I'm surprised and impressed that she even came out resembling a whole person. But if she hasn't told you, then I can't. I lost her as a friend for a long time and I don't want to do it again."

Michael felt defeated. He knew Isabel and loyalty were inseparable; nothing would make her tell him if she had sworn not to. "Okay then… fill me in on you two. When did you get married? When did you have a baby?"

"Actually I'm having my second. I'm a month gone." Isabel smiled and rubbed her stomach proudly.

"Does that mean I have to beat up Alex twice for getting my sister pregnant?" Michael joked as he noticed Alex was on his way downstairs.

"Well we're not living in sin so I think its okay." Isabel laughed, and cuddled up to Alex as he sat down. "You left…8 years ago. The first year was rough, there were arguments and fights, I blame myself for the rift between Maria and myself, I said things to her that were uncalled for." Alex unconsciously stroked Isabel's hair to comfort her; Michael inwardly smiled and knew that Alex was the best choice for his stubborn sister. "Then during the second year I got pregnant from Alex, yes we weren't married, but we were pretty soon after that. We didn't marry because it was the "right thing to do" we married because we wanted to be together. Max wasn't too happy about it, after all Tammy would be the first hybrid baby, but eventually he came through for me."

Numb, Michael raked his hand through his hair and looked up at the obviously happy couple. "That's great, really, I'm happy for both you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when I should've been Is, but if I'm staying for good, I can help you with this next one." He smiled at them but it felt slightly empty. _I've missed so much_…_everyone else has moved on and done things_. Suddenly he wanted to see Maria again. "Would it be okay if I go to bed now? I'm exhausted…"

"Oh yeah sure, Alex will show you to the guest room."

"Thanks."

Michael walked up the stairs, noticing the photos on the wall as they went. In one photo frame, the whole group was there, obviously before he had left. But there was something odd about the picture…scratching his eyebrow he figured he would look at it tomorrow.

"There you are: the guest room, or well…soon the new nursery. The bathroom is the room next door. Tammy really liked you; she didn't stop talking all about her new "Uncle Mikey" when I put her to bed. You have a very natural way with kids."

"Thanks man."

"Though I'm warning you Michael," Alex added darkly. "If you ever hurt Isabel, or Maria again by running away like that…if you've come here to get Isabel's hopes up only to dash them again….I will find you, and you will regret it." Shocked, Michael looked up at Alex, but there was no give in his expression, his eyes seemed to just be two glassy stones piercing into him.

"Alex, I swear I'm not going anywhere. I do need to sort a few things back…where I used to live. But I'm not leaving again. I promise, I won't hurt either Isabel or Maria again like that."

"Glad to hear it. Goodnight Michael, don't let the bed bugs bite." Alex smiled amiably and shut the door behind him.

_Shit…well that was a barrel of laughs. Hate to imagine Max's reaction when he knows I'm home. _Michael dropped his things on the well-made bed, it was a fairly bare room but it had the essentials; one bed, one dresser, one stereo. Without even bothering to unpack anything, he laid down on the bed and let his mind wander over the exhausting emotional rollercoaster it had been so far.

Meanwhile across the hall, Isabel and Alex were getting ready for bed.

"So do you really think he's staying now?" Isabel worriedly asked. She felt like she had been hit by a truck, crying so much had given her a headache. Nestling down against Alex's chest, he started rubbing her temples for her. _It's amazing. _She thought to herself. _He always knows what I need…no questions asked. How could I deserve someone as loving as him? _

"Yes I think he is." Alex replied thoughtfully. "How are you feeling about it all?" He glanced down at his angel, the perfect woman inside and out that somehow he had managed to steal from everyone else.

"I don't know, happy that he's here and alive, anxious over everything we have to tell him…he's missed so much." It finally sunk into Isabel just How much he had missed. "He doesn't know about Antar and the dupes, or Maria! He saw her before us but she didn't tell him anything that had happened." Isabel's voice was rising to a shriek as memories of the past 8 years hit her. "She briefly mentioned that she was married, and that now they were separated because of his abuse. She didn't even tell him who he is!"

"Wow…it's going to be a lot for him to take in. Maybe we should call a meeting, like old times, get _everyone_ here – including the people he isn't aware of."

"Yeah that's a good idea" Isabel yawned. ""We'll do it in the morning…goodnight babe."

"Goodnight beautiful."


	9. Regrets

**Regrets**

The steady sounds of his wife sleeping soothed Alex's turbulent mind. As outwardly calm as he had seemed earlier that evening, he had only appeared that way for Isabel. She needed a steady support to lean on; god knows she hasn't had many over the past few years. _Why is Michael back now? After so long? _He wondered.

He wished he could leave right now to check up on Maria, to see how she was handling this new development. _Maria._ Regret, sadness and a deep painful self-loathing flittered around inside of him whenever he thought of his broken-hearted best friend. She was so fragile now, so lost…the familiar rage rose up when he thought about those lost years, those years where he should have been taking care of her. He would never forget the angry words they had shared, the only argument they had ever had in their long history of friendship.

_/flashback/_

"Maria you don't understand! I'm trying to help you, please, just let me be your friend!" His voice was hoarse. He had been yelling at the door for over half an hour. "Please. I'm so worried about you…Liz is worried about you…just let me come inside!"

"Fuck offf Alexs, jusst fuck off. I dun't need you…I don't need annyone. Jusst leave me alone." Her voice was slurred. It was 3pm and she was already drunk. His eyes stung as he scrubbed the worried tears away from his face. He had given her space for the last year while she pushed everyone away, like everyone had told him to, but enough was enough. He couldn't just sit by and watch her isolate herself anymore.

"No Maria. I'm not leaving here until you open the goddamned door." With a look of grim determination, he planted himself firmly on the porch of Michael's apartment. After being thrown out of her house, she had taken to staying there, which he doubted did any good for her emotional well-being. "You might as well just let me in, as I'm not moving from this spot until you do."

"Fiine, ssit there and rot for all I care! You're jusst washting your effortss" She screamed back.

He peered through the letterbox and his breath caught at what he saw. Total chaos. Bottles of whiskey and tequila, cans of beer, empty packets of cigarettes…all were littered across the floor. Papers were thrown haphazardly, clothes strewn everywhere... _How does she live like this? _He despaired. It had been 2 years since Michael had left, and instead of Maria slowly moving on, she was rapidly deteriorating.

After 10 minutes sitting there in silence, he suddenly heard a crash come from inside the house. Panic crept along his spine as he listened for any more sounds. Nothing. He couldn't take it anymore. With a strength that was unknown to him; he kicked down the door that stood in his way and ran into the hell hole Maria had created for herself. As soon as he walked in, he saw her. She was lying face down on a pile of newspapers, a half empty bottle of bourbon still grasped in her hand.

For a few seconds his heart stopped. _What if she's…oh Jesus, no…_ he ran to her, uncaring of the broken glass that was scattered across the floor. "Maria!" He yelled, and turned her over onto her back. Her face was bruised, sallow, and too gaunt for his liking. Her once sparkling green eyes were shadowed by dark circles and rimmed with red. She lay limp as he quickly checked for a heartbeat…after a few moments he felt it. Sagging down onto the floor he allowed himself to breathe, relieved that's he was okay.

Laying her down back onto the sofa, he attempted to wake her. They needed to talk. "Maria…Maria…"

Her eyes opened slowly, trying to focus through the drunken haze. "Alex?"

Gazing into those dazed eyes, for a moment she seemed like the old Maria he knew. But it was short-lived. As soon as she said his name, she remembered everything else, and he could see those walls come back up while she scrambled away from him.

"What are you doing in here!" She hissed. "I _told_ you to go away." Swift anger washed over him and his fear for her pushed the fateful words out of his mouth without thought.

"I heard a crash! I thought you were hurt! You are hurt! Look at you Maria! You're a fucking mess! Look at this place, what the **hell **do you think you're doing! Do you think this is going to get Michael back? You wallowing here, killing yourself slowly with booze and whatever other fuckingdrugs you're using!"

He wished he could stop himself, but 2 years worth of worry, while he watched his friend throw her life down the toilet, came pouring out.

"Do you think he'd be _proud _of you for this? Michael is **never** coming back! Can't you see that? He's probably dead. And you lying here, ruining yourself, isn't fucking worth it. He isn't worth it. You need to get over it Maria and you need to stop treating it like it was the end of the goddamned world. Do you have any idea what this is doing to your friends? Or to your family? Your mother is sick with worry over you and you may be too selfish to care but it's destroying her seeing you like this. It's destroying all of us. Or are you too coked up to even realise that?"

He stopped, out of breath. The silence that followed was so tense, so thick, that he felt incapable of moving as he waited for her response.

'_SMACK'_

His head whipped around to the left as Maria hit him full force across the cheek. Her eyes were blazing. She hit him again. And again. Her fury wielded in her small hands, causing Alex's nose to crack and blood to flow.

"Get. Out." She whispered her voice dark, deadly and full of rage. He had never heard her sound like that, it was tone quite alien to the Maria he knew and loved. He shivered slightly.

"Mari-"

"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" She screamed while tears streamed down her dirty face, "Don't **ever** talk to me again! Don't ever come by here again! Go back to Isabitch and those pathetic people I once called my friends. I don't want your help _little boy_, I just want your absence. You may as well be dead to me now." Her last remark was said so coldly that it chilled him.

Nodding mutely, he stared at her now turned back, and then left.

_/end of flashback/_

That was the last time he saw her, until a few years later, when he had gotten that awful call of her being in hospital.

Alex took deep breaths, and focused once more on his beautiful wife lying next to him, unaware of the turmoil he was in. It was ancient history now. Michael was back, Rath has gone for now, and he was slowly progressing to a shaky new friendship with the girl he had always thought of as the sister he'd never had.

Shaking his mind of the dark thoughts, he settled back down in bed and wrapped his arms lovingly around the blonde goddess that lay next to him.

- - -- - - - - -

**AuraBell: **Aw I'm glad you're liking this, and hehe patience my dear, patience, things will be revealed in their own time…:D

**Angelic: **Wow an emotional response, you have no idea how pleasing it is to see that. Trust me, Michael will not be happy, but you'll have to keep reading to see it, as I'm afraid I have a tendency to try and draw things out as long as possible. Try not to hate me for it lol. Thankyou for reviewing!

**Rachael and Caitlin:** I'm sorry it's been a while, I was going to update sooner but I got distracted by Reading fics instead of writing them lol. I hope this satisfies you two a little! Thank you both so much for pushing me on this!

**Veronica: **Ahh intrigue is good, something I was hoping to create lol. Nice to know I haven't failed. And you will see soon enough what drove Rath to those extremes (contrary to this fic – I do actually like the guy)

_Review please! The more encouragement I get, the quicker I write. Honest. Nothing gets me writing quicker than a good ole ego boost or a straightforward honest criticism/critique. _


	10. Another Regret

**Another Regret **

**

* * *

**

Max slumped onto his bed with a sigh and stared up at the familiar nicotine-stained ceiling of his motel room. He didn't think he'd been in this particular room before, but they all looked the same anyway, no matter what town or state he was in.

The pain in his head slowly migrated to his eyes and with a groan he rubbed them tiredly, he couldn't believe he had just found Michael and then left without saying a word. After everything he had thrown away by looking for him, after years of making Michael his own personal quest…he found him and just walked away.

_Maybe Michael wasn't really what you were looking for. _A voice whispered in the back of Max's mind. _Maybe his disappearance was just the excuse you were looking for, an excuse to drop all of the pressure that rode on your 'kingly shoulders', King Max. An excuse to hide from the problems you had to deal with at home, or with Liz… _

"Shut up." Max mumbled to himself. He'd spent far too many nights lying on a bed alone, wishing everything had been different, and wishing he hadn't broken Liz's heart for the last time.

_/flashback/_

"What are you saying to me Max?" Tears of denial swam in her amber eyes, they pierced through him and with every tear she cried, another stab of pain went to his heart. He avoided her eyes and stared at her lips, always so pink, so fresh and will never be his again.

"Well uh…as you know Michael's gone. We need to stick together Liz, we need to stay here. I can't have him wandering off on his own without any of us to protect him, or keep him from doing something stupid. I have to go and find him. I can't be a king without my second in command."

"So how long do you think you'll be? A few months? A year? What? He's only been gone 3 months." Her mouth was pressed down into an unhappy line. Her hand awkwardly fumbled with the ring on her finger, as she stared at the floor, unable to meet his eyes.

Max sighed. "I don't know, as long as it takes I guess."

"As long as it takes..." She repeated and nodded, as if trying to absorb the information. "So what about us, what do we do now?"

"I don't know. I suppose you could call this a break. Temporary."

"Temporary…I could always go with you; we could try and find him together?" Her hopeful eyes shone with him with a heartbreaking intensity. He shook his head and saw the gleam die into depression.

"No Liz, you have to graduate and get the grades and qualifications. Don't throw away your future for mine, that way at least one of us can earn some money when we live together. Besides, Maria needs you. I've seen her the past few months and it's worried me, she's just so..."

"Perky? Happy? Completely in denial? Yeah I know. I don't know how long she's going to go on with this, but it's been scaring me too. Michael just leaving like that should have devastated her. Yet it just doesn't seem to have bothered her at all."

"Keep an eye on her Liz, she needs you. Sooner or later she will break." He slung his bag over his shoulder. "I'll be back soon; I still have to check in now and again with mom and Isabel anyway."

"You've already said goodbye to them then?" It was starting to rain, Max felt mesmerised by the love held in her eyes and the way her hair curled half-wet against her face. Without realising it, his hand moved forward and brushed a stray bit of hair away.

"A hair thing?" Liz smiled, tears forming again in her eyes at the bittersweet gesture. Max nodded and moved his hand back, before he felt any more impulsive.

"Yeah." Max breathed, answering her original question. "I hope I don't have to say goodbye to them again. Isabel's a wreck. But she's got Alex to look after her." Then for the last time he held her in his arms, a loving embrace, and kissed her deeply on the lips, showing her every time he had watched her, everything he felt when he was around her, everything she meant to him. "I love you Liz Parker. I always have."

"I love you too Max Evans. You better be back soon."

"I promise. Bye." He hopped into the cab that had pulled up, and shut the door. The droplets of rain distorting Liz's face as the cab pulled away.

_/end of flashback/_

He only saw her once after that and it was at Isabel's wedding. The pictures looked carefree and joyous, but if you look closely, you can see the strain on each of their faces. The arguments him and Liz had later over the phone, the threats, and the tears, they all showed up on that picture. The wedding was the last time any of them saw her.

Max sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands; his face was wet from crying. It was late and he knew he'd have hell to pay from Isabel in the morning, especially when he tells her that after 8 years of searching, he let their brother go.

Scared by the notion, Max shivered and fell asleep. He much preferred sleeping that being awake. When you're asleep there's no pressure. No problems. No tears and no pain. Just an empty void to immerse yourself in.

* * *

Sorry I took so long, and I apologise if this chapter doesn't seem that intune with the characters, I've never been good with Dreamer scenes lol. Still, let me know what you think :)

**Rabidbutterfly:** Aw thanks honey for putting me on your alert list ) Glad you like the story.

**Radiogirl: **Thanks so much for your comments! That's really sweet of you blush I'm glad you're enjoying the story and good luck with yours! Sorry it's been quite a while.

**Irisraine:** Thanks for the feedback !

**Rachael**: My ever constant feedbacker, thanks for it lol. I know I'm not that consistent with my updating. Yeah it was a pretty harsh fight, but unfortunately there's worse to come. I promise soon enough you'll get details of her and Rath, but it's a long angsty road. I'm glad you're enjoying this!

**Caitlin, Majikstruck and KalsGal:** Thanks for liking my little fic, I hope you'll enjoy the next part! Sorry it took a while.

**AgathaN:** Heh finally another post now! I feel so honoured that I'm the only Roswell fic you're reading, I'm sorry I made you wait so long sweetie!

**Liz:** I'm afraid there's more suspense to come as this next chapter isn't conclusive, another POV for ya too since you like them so much lol :D. Thanks for feedbacking! I'm so happy you like this.

**Hayley:** lol I never actually don't carry on with my fics, it just takes me a very long time to get around to writing parts. I'm glad you like my story; I hope you didn't have to wait too long this time!


	11. Morning After

**The Morning After**

_Creak. _

The bed shuddered.

_Creak. _

The bed shook.

_Creak_

Michael slowly, blearily, cracked open his eyes. Then quickly shut them again. The sun that shone through his window had blinded him instantly.

_Creak._

The bed jumped.

_Creak. _

The bed rattled.

_Giggle._

Michael's eyes flew open at the unfamiliar sound. His gaze immediately landed on a small angelic cherub with an impish grin infectiously spread across her face.

"Unca Miiicheal." She sang as she bounced, her pigtails flying wildly above her head, "wakey wake Unca Michael!"

"Wha-?" He blinked at the unfamiliar surroundings and the utterly unexpected scene that spun before his eyes. Unsure on how he got there, he shook his head, tiredly rubbed his eyes with his thumbs and grasped for the child's name. "Tammy? What time is it?"

"It's wakey time. Mamas cooking breakfas..." She smiled and sat comfortably crossed-legged on the edge of his bed, absentmindedly playing with her now loosened pigtails.

Michael blinked again at the surreal sight. "Okay, well how about you go downstairs and tell Mama I'm up yeah? I'll be down in a minute." She grinned again and he felt his mouth quirking in response. _She sure is a cute kid,_ he thought to himself.

"Kay. See ya later alligator." And with that final remark she giggled once more and shot out of the room.

"Yeah, she sure is Alex's kid alright." Michael muttered into the sudden deafening silence. Running his hand through his hair, he sighed to himself and picked up the clothes that he had casually tossed to the floor last night. Last night. It suddenly hit him exactly what **had** happened last night._ Maria. Married. Abused. Heartbroken. Car crash. Isabel. Tammy._ A vivid image of Maria sobbing against his car door tattooed itself in his brain.

Like a sucker-punch to the diaphragm, the memories continued to hit him.

But before a swell of raw emotion propelled him into action, the distinct smell of bacon and eggs tantalisingly wafted into his room - beckoning him to come out. His stomach growled in reply. _I guess I'm going to have to talk to Maria later, Isabel is not gonna let me go without breakfast. _With another sigh, he yanked on his pair of jeans, an old Metallica top and trudged to the top of the stairs.

Voices rose up the stairway from the kitchen. Intrigued, Michael leant closer and listened;

"…I know babe I know. He does have the right to know but it's not for either of us to tell him is it?" That was Alex, speaking in those soothing tones of his, which Michael remembered he had always done when Isabel had one of her outbursts. They were so good together; it pained him slightly thinking of that could have been, had he stayed.

He sat himself down on the top step and listened harder, he knew they were keeping things from him. It seemed everyone was…which pissed him off to no end. What could be so bad that they thought he shouldn't know about it? Did they not trust him? He knew he had been gone a long time, but did they really think they couldn't trust him anymore?

"Why not? I AM his sister! Alex…what if Maria doesn't tell him? What if _He_ comes back and Michael then finds out the truth. Michael would kill him."

Michael was shocked at the certainty in Isabel's voice, as if she didn't doubt that he would give a second thought to murdering another human being. It actually hurt him to realise that it didn't no matter how long he stayed away; he would always be seen with blood on his hands. A murderer. But then again, as painful as it is, he knew she was right. The man who had abused and scarred his Maria? Who had broken her into such frail pieces and removed the fire that made her his perfect match? Yes. He would kill him- if he was lucky.

Tired of sitting on the stairs and smelling the food, Michael trudged down the stairs and walked through the kitchen.

"Unca Michael! Sit by me!" Tammy enthused. Hearing him being greeted, Isabel spun in surprise and Michael could just feel the stressed vibes spark out of her body like an electric current. Alex nodded a 'hi' and then continued to rub Isabel's back, sensing her shock at seeing Michael standing there. Michael's presence was still slightly too surreal to digest.

Nervously scratching his eyebrow at the sudden attention he was receiving, he chuckled lightly and sat down next to Tammy, "Of course I will, how could I refuse?" She giggled again and then resumed to making a mess out of her cooked breakfast. Michael looked at the mat that was underneath his plate. It said 'Welcome Home'. He bit back a smile and an inward groan; he had known Isabel was going to make a big fuss about all of this. Not that he could blame her really.

"Morning Michael, did you sleep well?" Isabel asked pleasantly, as she placed the bacon onto his plate. Michael couldn't stop grinning at how much she had become like her mother, Diane Evans. He could just remember sitting at a table, only a bit older than Tammy's age and Diane asking him the same thing.

"Yeah _Mom_ I slept fine." He said good-naturedly and laughed lightly at the bizarreness of the situation. She smiled as she remembered thousands of times before when he would say that to her– always teasing her about her mother hen qualities.

Alex chuckled too and sat down opposite Michael. "So what do you plan on doing today Michael? There are a lot of people who's going to want to see you." He said seriously, his eyes meeting Michael in a flash of sympathy. They all had known, those years before, that Michael was consistantly toeing the line of running away or staying there. After Pierce, well, it should have been fairly expected to find he had gone, but it didn't make the hurt any less, especially not for the three people who loved him the most. Maria. Isabel and Max.

Michael nodded slightly at the message Alex was trying to get across. There _are_ people who will want to see him, who will demand explanations and answers, it will be a long, hard day for him and he wasn't looking forward to it.

tbc...

Sorry I know this really just a filler - but A-Levels have been crazy lately. Though, Christmas holidays is at least coming up so I promise big shiny interesting new parts for you all! And for all of my fanfics!

**Twilight and Isis :- **Sorry for making you wait so long. I know, the missing Liz is another mystery in this tale which will soon be resolved. :) Thankyou for enjoying this so far! I promise all will be revealed in due time.

**Rabidbutterfly :-** Heh yeah it is a long time, and you'll find out too what else he had been up to throughout those years. Btw actually he's 24 - left when he was 16. ;) thanks for reviewing!

**Racheal :-** I hope the Liz and Max chapter was okay, I'm not so practised at writing dreamer - but I did think they deserved a bit of background information too, since it's all very relevant to the plot.Not to mention Max did start the fic after all, I figured he shouldn't be so ignored throughout it. :D Yep things all went downhill for everyone when Michael left. I suppose the sad thing is that the more you love a character, the more as awriter you have to put it through so much angst and pain lol. Oooh yes and about Rath, well lets say things are not quite what they seem...Thanks for the feedback!

**Hayley :-**Aw thanks for your constant feedback, its always so welcome :) But don't worry most of this fic will be purely M&M. You just gotta love them.

**Majikstruck :-** Hey, I know the update isn't probably as soon as you wanted, but I will get better. I swear. lol. Thanks for reviewing!


	12. The Calm Before The Storm

**The Calm Before The Storm**

Breakfast came and went. Calls were made, plans were sorted and Isabel's usual efficient manner handled everything quickly and smoothly. The former Christmas Nazi decided it would be best to arrange a dinner that evening so everyone could learn of Michael's return simultaneously.

Both Michael and Alex had winced when she announced what she had planned; a distinct churning of foreboding could be felt at the thought of the group reacting to having that dramatic news sprung upon them. There was a lot of anger beneath their amiable smiles and many years of pain etched behind their laughing eyes. The evening would no doubt be as pleasant as a train crash and twice as messy.

Since Isabel had arranged everything so swiftly, Michael had the afternoon free to prepare himself for the worst to come that evening. Full of repressed energy, anxiety and excitement he decided to take a drive to his home, down the black and white memory lane. Home wasn't the trailer park; no he had never considered that a home - that was just where he had lived. Just where Hank had lived.

Home was his old apartment - his first home after so many foster 'situations' and it held his happiest memories of those teenage years. It seemed to symbolise the first time he'd ever had something good in his life and not screwed it up one way or another, it was the first thing he'd ever truly owed off his own back, the first place he could feel completely safe in – no climbing through windows, no hiding under beds...it was all his and when he had left, he had hated leaving it behind.

Small changes had grown and spread while he was away, the building looked even more worn down and there were far more weeds in the unruly grass patch. The paint on the door looked flaky and as if it had suffered from serious abuse for a long time. Technically it was still his home; he had bought it not long before he left but never sold it - he just couldn't bring himself to cut that final tie he had to his home town.

As Michael walked closer to the door he noticed something: the door was half jarred open. Someone was inside. The idea of a complete stranger rummaging around on his personal property made his guts twist in ways that he really didn't like.

"Son of a bitch." He muttered. His hands clenched as he defiantly willed himself to keep control. '_Ahh the old temper is still there writhing beneath the surface eh Mickey boy? You may think you've got control now over those freak powers of yours, but you will slip up sooner or later. Just like you did last night with Maria.'_ Hank's tauntingly cutting words echoed in Michael's head like a familiar twinge of pain. Since Hank had died Michael had gotten used to the consistent commentary from him and it was now just a part of his every day life.

Gritting his teeth, eyes flashing dangerously, he crept through the open door into his dusky, 'rustic' apartment. The smell of various alcohols and stale cigarette smoke hit him immediately and judging from the mess strewn about, whoever had been squatting there must've had one hell of a party. The light from his windows avoided the corners of the rooms, leaving engulfing black shadows looming at the edges, hiding more chaos. It used to be his home, only now it looked like the broken ruins of a fading memory.

A crash from the kitchen startled Michael out of his reverie. Trying to walk as quietly as he could, he tiptoed through the corridor and silently cracked open the door to his kitchen. All he could see was a silhouette of a small-ish person moving back and forth across the room. _It's probably some kid just fucking around, _he thought to himself and stepped thought the doorway.

"What do you think you're do-" His bellowing voice cut short, as if someone had pressed the mute button. He stared at the trespasser utterly confounded, his mind blank from shock. A beat of silence passed. His mouth opened and closed, trying to find some words, _any_ words and when he finally spoke his tone had dropped to a softer note, as if he was talking to a frightened animal. "Maria…what are you doing here?"

Maria's face, scorched with shame, dropped downwards to blindly stare at her shoes. Red sneakers. She smiled at the faraway memory. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be here…but after Isabel rang me this morning, I remembered the state of your house and I…well… I didn't want you to see it like this. So I thought I'd come by and clean it up first." Her gaze flickered up to judge how Michael would react; he loathed how nervous she seemed around him. That wasn't the old Maria. The old Maria would have given him an earful for scaring her - not stuttered in humility.

"You just wanted to get back into my bedroom didn't you?" He smirked arrogantly, trying to keep his voice as jovial as possible; he just wanted a rise out of her. He'd say anything to see that fire blaze in her eyes, to get that sad scared look off of her face.

Maria looked up sharply at his comment, for a brief second something he had said just ripped away all of her walls and caged up inside of her he saw more terror and anguish than he had ever seen before - far too much for one person to have borne alone. Michael mentally kicked himself for being so stupid, horror wasn't the intended reaction. Then as quick as the walls were gone, they were back up again and Maria shakily attempted a smirk back. "Yeah, in your dreams pal." She said woodenly.

Michael was more worried about her than he had been before. Making a mental note to make her ex-husband, whoever he was, suffer weeks of torment, he swiftly changed the subject. "So, what happened here then?" He looked around; the kitchen was as bad as the rest of the rooms, there were only a few clear patches of tile where Maria had obviously been cleaning.

Maria chewed her lip and laughed hollowly, "Beats me, guess some people had some party here." Michael gave her a sideways glance and made another mental note to confront her about the constant lies she was automatically feeding him.

He knew when she was hiding something, just as he had always known. She had definitely gotten better at it over the years, compared to that million-year-old day when the Sheriff chose her to interrogate about the truth of him, Max and Isabel. Yeah, she was certainly more adept at it since then. But he knew and he would always know when she was lying, it w as that connection between them that told him, the one that sung when she was near by, the one that uncontrollably, magnetically, pulled him to her. Michael didn't know whether that was because he was alien, human, or if it's just what it feels like when you're in love, but he knew for damn sure he couldn't ignore it.

Without even realising, he moved closer to her. "Maria..."

She stepped back instinctively. "Don't Michael. Just don't." Her voice shook with intensity and he could see her hands were trembling as she rubbed them across her face. With a forced cheeriness that even hurt her own ears, she studiously avoided his worried looks and bent down to pick up the dropped bin bag. "How about we get to work then, yeah? Unless you had somewhere else to be…"

Michael took her cue and started picking up the many beer cans that were tossed around the room. "Nah wouldn't want to bump into anyone I know and ruin the surprise for tonight's evening fun." The sarcastic remark caused a grin to flicker across Maria's face and Michael silently celebrated at being the one who caused it. "I see Alex hasn't managed to completely remove Isabel from her zealous Nazism."

Maria smiled and slipped easily into inane conversation as she worked at the mess around them. "Yeah that's true, she still organises all of the Christmas charity events and I think she's the head of the PTA council for Tammy's school. I heard that Tammy took quite a liking to you. Who would have thought our very own Spaceboy would grow to be such a pushover with kids?"

Michael, relieved at the easy-going attitude they had switched to, chuckled to himself. "Ah she's a good kid; I can see a lot of Alex in her. Besides I didn't have much of a choice, there's enough of Isabel's determination in her as well to make sure of that."

"Too right. Isabel isn't ever too happy about me spending time with Tammy though; she says I'm a bad influence on her. Just because _somehow_ every time I see her she ends up hyper as a loon and the house gets ruined, Isabel automatically assumes it's _my_ fault." Wickedness sparkled in Maria's eyes and Michael's heart skipped several beats.

"Yeah…somehow…I bet you have no idea how she gets like that." He replied smirking, enjoying the familiar banter.

"Who me? Of course not…." An innocent expression was plastered across her face and Michael couldn't help but laugh loudly. Maria grinned back and then looked at him with a vague sense of wonder in her eyes.

"What?"

"It's strange, I just realised I hadn't ever heard you laugh like that before. At least, I can't remember you doing it when you were here."

Michael nodded; he remembered those darker times all too well. "Yeah well the constant threat of exposure, H-Hank and typical teenage angst was the usual cause of it." Michael caught himself from sinking into those stagnant pools of self-pity and smiled a toothy-smile at the blonde beauty before him, quirking up an eyebrow as he did. "I'm a lot less moody now, well… I do have moments now when I'm at least not _as_ moody."

Maria smiled softly. "Good, at least leaving did a lot of good for you then. So what did you leave behind when you came here?" They had stopped cleaning for a good five minutes, too enthralled at having a nice conversation with each other to concentrate on anything else.

Self-consciously, he scratched his eyebrow with his left hand and flashed a self-deprecating grin. "Well I uh…I was, _am_ in college." Maria's eyes glimmered at the information, mentally trying to imagine Michael going to classes and lectures, one piece of the puzzle was put into place, creating a far less blurry image of his life before last night. It was like a constant game, when her life crumbled and fell to shit, Michael had been….what? The game was to fit an answer to that question.

"What were you studying?"

Michael shifted uncomfortably; he had always dreaded answering this question just in case all he'd receive was laughter. He remembered when he'd first ever painted something, that geodesic dome, he hadn't even received a 'well done' or 'that's pretty good' from Isabel and Max. No, they had been too busy freaking out about the attention it could attract. Rather than being proud, they made him feel like he'd just fucked up once again.

"Well you going to tell me? Or can't you remember?" Maria joked as she watched him struggle with some kind of difficult internal decision.

"Oo-kay, well I err…I study art. Well, more of painting and sculpting than like studying artists." Michael closed his eyes and inwardly cringed, expectant of the laughter to come and hit his delicately new-found pride. When there was just silence however, he opened his eyes and looked at Maria. She was crying. Women! He'd never figure them out, not even if he lived to be hundreds of centuries old. They were just as unfathomable as the rest of the supernatural mysteries on this planet. "Are you …um..okay?" He asked tentatively.

Maria laughed and wiped her eyes. "What? Oh yeah I'm fine, I just can't believe how wonderful that is Michael! I always knew you could do it if you wanted to, ever since that geodesic dome thingy. You'll _have_ to show me some of your work someday."

Mentally, Michael was doing a happy-dance right now. Relief spread itself right through every molecule he possessed and he exhaled the breath he had been desperately holding. "Yeah sure, I actually have a certain spot at this gallery thing my friend owns."

"Wow you have friends too? Never would have expected that? Are you sure you're our Spaceboy, or are you just an impostor?" Maria teased.

Michael smirked, "Yeah, really I'm my evil twin, we were separated at birth." Missing Maria's pained expression, Michael started laughing so hard at the mental image of Max having to deal with two teenage Michael's, that his throat ached and his stomach hurt. "Oh…poor...Max…!" he exclaimed gasping for breath. He looked up at Maria who had recovered from the shock and was smiling wryly.

"We better go." She said quietly. They had been there for several hours; the kitchen looked a lot better, even if they hadn't remembered to do any work for the last half an hour. They started walking across the mess, to the front door. His car was parked right out front; he looked around for her car but couldn't see it. It was a long way to walk.

Michael looked at his watch; it was 3pm. Dinner was officially starting in another 3 hours. "Yeah…do you uh, want me to give you a lift back to yours? The car is a little bashed up; I'm guessing Isabel told you about how she found me?"

Maria flashed a smile at him, a real smile, the one that made his brain completely empty of any thoughts. "Yeah I heard about that. Well done on your part, Isabel may have forgotten about it last night but she won't let you off the hook for the financial coverage."

Michael laughed. "Ahh that's alright, I do quite well back hom…um where I live." He stumbled over the 'home' word, a word he had never truly believed while living with Rory and the boys. Maria gave him a sideways glance and that irritatingly wonderful knowing smile.

"You do quite well? As a lowly student painter? You _must_ be good." She grinned and by doing so informed him that she was letting him off the hook about the 'home' problem. His eyes spelled relief as she answered his question. "Best not drive me home, I don't know if my mom is back yet from her work things and I don't think she'd be too happy to see you. She isn't as forgiving as me, as you may remember…"

"Good point. Maybe I shouldn't give you a ride." He said quickly. His eyes had widened in terror as he recalled meeting her mother for the first time and simultaneously meeting her mother's Newspaper of Doom. "In fact, maybe we just don't mention to her that I'm here at all yeah? She'll definitely use something worse than a newspaper," Michael winced at the thought and covered his crotch, "like a Machete…"

Maria giggled; the worried expression on his face was both extremely adorable and extremely comical. He certainly had lightened up over the years. "I'm afraid that won't be possible, she's coming tonight for the dinner. She knows about the alien things and has done for a while and she's married the Sheriff, Jim, who by the way has been a great help over the years of fighting evil aliens and aiding us to achieve universal peace for your home planet."

Michael stared at her in silence and Maria couldn't help but smirk as she continued on,

"Don't worry, you'll hear all about that tonight, I gotta go get ready since I don't think Isabel would be happy about me coming to a 'dinner' in red sneakers. Good luck tonight and hey -" Maria sauntered up to him, licking her lips and invading his personal space. The air was electric and both of them remembered the significance of that action. The motel. The abduction. Maria raised her head and let her lips brush his as she huskily whispered, "if I were you…I'd wear a cup buddy boy." Then with a wicked grin she ran around the side of the house, jumped in her car and left the still immobilised, yet now very horny, alien watching the dust trails.

"**Damn.** What a woman."

Now he'd have to take a cold shower.

Tbc….

* * *

Just a quick note, it's been a while since I've written something this long and detailed. So please any comments/criticisms are all very welcome.

**AgathaN:** Well I did say it was only a filler, something to keep me from forgetting the fic altogether. This is a much longer part now though, so thank you for the review! I hope you're happy with this! XD

**Twylight and Isis: **Ahh you guys, you're always so wonderful at reviewing. Glad to hear the anxiety is bubbling there, at least I'm not terribly boring you with my fic. 'Fraid this new part may leave you even more anxious but at least its getting on with the fic some more lol.

**Keirah: **Thanks for reviewing! Glad you like it.

**Hayley:** Another truly faithful reviewer - thanks a lot! I promise no more stranger-ness. I shall try and work on this as often as I can in between silly a-levels. Hope you had a great Christmas/new year. I'm glad you're enjoying this.


	13. Organisations

**Oragnisations**

_Earlier on that day..._

A sharp beeping sound ripped Max from his dreamless slumber.

With his eyes still closed, he shot his hand out and grasped the source of the sound. _"Ungghh!"_ He groaned, while trying to prise his eyes open.

Blinking at the sudden reappearance of sunlight, he slowly realised (before he could smash the annoying shrill thing in his hand) that his beeper had woken him up.

Fumbling with the buttons, he found the smallest one that stops the godawful noise and rolled out of bed to look at it; the numbers **9 1 1** kept flashing up at him which meant it was Isabel. He had given her his beeper number as a way for her to contact him incase of an emergency. He wasn't around there anymore to help them from whatever new alien crisis had developed, he was too busy searching for Michael. _Or really just running away yourself. _Max shook his head as if trying to ward off his own thoughts, staggered to the phone in his boxers and dialled the number he knew instinctively off by heart.

"Hello! Whitman residence. This is Isabel speaking!" Max rubbed his temple as her perky 'official' voice flooded through the phone. He had to admit, that was the worst thing to deal with, a perky Isabel while he was still half-asleep.

"Shh Isabel, not so loud. Now what's wrong?"

"Max! Oh great, I just beeped you!"

Max could hear dishes being washed and Tammy in the background singing to herself. He smiled, would be nice to see Tammy again soon, she grows so fast.

"Yeah I got it. Now spill before I go back to bed."

"Dinner tonight. Kind of formal, everyone's going to be there. There's a sort of special surprise as well."

"Dinner? You used the 911 emergency signal for a _dinner_? You're not pregnant again are you? I already beat Alex up once for that." Max joked weakly.

Isabel laughed, albeit a little nervously. "Look, just come to dinner, everyone misses you anyway. Believe me this is special. We all have to be here for this and we can all catch up too, you can tell me about where you've been for the last two months. Where are you now anyway?"

Max looked around. "Santa Fe, so actually not too far for once. I'll come to dinner, besides there are a few things we have to discuss."

"Okay, great! I'll see you about 6pm then?" He could hear the beaming smile that was no doubt spread across Isabels face, she loved organising things, especially when he actually bothered to take part in them.

"Yeah, sure." He tiredly answered. He glanced at his watch, it was only 10am now. "See you then Izzy."

He replaced the reciever in it's cradle and threw himself back onto the bed. 6pm was a whole day away, he could go back to oblivion for at least a little while longer.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A small blonde woman was carefully waddling through the local supermarket at 11am, trying to decide just what colour food would make her look less of beached whale.

The pros and cons of the purple coloured packets were being carefully considered when she suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Isabel! How great to see you!" The woman exclaimed and dumped the purple packets into the trolley to give her old friend a hug.

"Tess! I was just looking for you. Where are the twins?" Isabel peered around. "The store is intact, so they must be somewhere else right?"

Tess laughed, her blue eyes sparkling like the ocean during summer time. "Yes, their daddy took them out from under my feet today - poor guy. I bet they've totally wrecked his office by now. Ah well..." She shrugged. Not looking completely sympathetic at the thought.

"Wow...twin 6 year old boys. And now you're what, 7 months pregnant? I don't know how you do it Tess, I would go completely mad." Isabel remarked, thinking of the amount of trouble just little Tammy could cause. Let alone twin boys.

Tess ran a hand through her curly blonde hair and smiled a little. "Yeah I know, I do debate going mad. Though Kyle is a great father, he loves that we're having more kids around the place. What about you? Have you told anyone yet about you having another one? Except for me, Alex and Maria?"

Isabel shook her head. "You mean have I told Max and my parents? No. But I will tonight. That's why I was looking for you, I'm having a semi-formal dinner thing, everyone will be coming. So make sure you bring Kyle and the boys."

"Yeah okay, sounds great, can't wait to see Max's face a second time round. Think Alex will outrun him this time? It'll be nice to have another get together, has been a while since we did one of those. I think the last time was...Alex's birthday...2 months ago?" Tess looked at Isabel with a twinkle in her eyes and Isabel chuckled loudly at the memory.

"Well I always said I'd get him back for the time he stripped at my 18th, infront of my mother no less! Anyway, sorry Tess but I have to run, I'm supposed to go see Maria in a minute. I'll see you tonight!"

"Yeah, see you tonight." Tess smiled and gave her friend another hug.

"Oh Tess, by the way, you look beautiful and glowing, no matter what colour the food is." Isabel winked at her as Tess giggled, a little embarassed, and hurried out of the store.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Isabel loved this feeling. The busy feeling. The feeling that she knew exactly what her purpose was today and that purpose was to see everyone come to this very important dinner. A dinner which would open a new chapter in all of their lives, for good or for bad.

She knew it wouldn't be pretty and it probably wouldn't be fun, there was pain and there was hurt and even though Michael had said he's seen Maria - no-one ever knew just how her disposition would be from one day to the next. A few times Maria has called up and cancelled babysitting Tammy, knowing that it was a bad day for her. Isabel had been there for her after she came home from the hospital and the 6 months afterwards. She had seen those bad nights where Maria would cry and shake and scream, where her moods would drop down so dangerously low that it frightened her to see Maria that way. One night, when Isabel had turned her back for short moment, Maria suddenly and without no warning, smashed her hand through a windowpane. When Isabel had questioned why she would do something like that, Maria had only dully answered, "I did it to just feel something other than this coldness inside."

During those first few difficult months back Isabel had barely left her side. Looking after Maria now was a way of trying to amend the hurt she had caused those years before. Michael had left and instead of reaching out to the one other girl who could only understand the devastation she was feeling - she had turned against her instead. She had screamed at Maria. Taunted her. Refused to be in the same room as her. For that first year, every bit of pain and anger she felt about Michael leaving and then her brother Max leaving so soon afterwards, was quietly and sometimes not so quietly blamed on Maria. Even though Maria has assured Isabel that she neededn't feel so guilty, that she didn't make Maria do the things she had done, Isabel felt responsible for every ounce of it. If she hadn't have kept pushing Maria away from the group, Maria would have had someone to lean on and connect with, and wouldn't have felt the need to seek comfort from anything else.

On automatic, Isabel's feet had walked her safely to the door of the former DeLuca residence and she rang the doorbell, hoping that the reappearence of Michael hadn't shaken Maria up too badly. Maria had been doing so much better the last month or so, her down days had been alot less frequent.

The door opened and out peered a freshly faced Maria. Isabel looked at her carefully, trying to assess whether there were any tell-tale signs of crying. There were none to be seen. "Isabel?" Maria questioned, after a moment of silence. "What's up?"

"Hey Maria," Isabel smiled, nervously plucking at a wisp of her blonde hair that had fallen out of it's clip. No matter how close they had become over the last 6 months, Isabel still felt nervous talking to her, as if waiting for Maria to suddenly remember all of the horrible things Isabel had said. "I was just wondering if you wanted to come out and have a bit of lunch with me, I've been quite busy today and I thought we could talk."

"Oh yeah sure! Hang on, let me just get into something a little less house-mopey and a little more lunch-eaty. Come in if you want, Jim and Amy aren't here - I think they've got a work...thing." Maria hopped back to let Isabel in and then ran upstairs to change.

Isabel was a little amazed, it was if the old Maria was back with her. Sure, Maria had been getting better recently and had more good days than bad, but there didn't seem to be any trace of hollow cheer that she had seen Maria force into her face every day she was in company. _Don't get your hopes up, _Isabel cautioned herself. _Maybe she's fine within the first few minutes you've said hello. Maybe she's fine for the next few hours. But this doesn't mean you'll get the old Maria back. The old Maria is gone. You know how she is, this pleasantness could just simply be a shocked reflex action from seeing Michael again. That will wear off. When things have to be discussed, when Maria has to expose herself and her past to him...that may be when things go drastically wrong. _

Maria came back downstairs in a simple pair of blue jeans and a green sleeveless top that Isabel had bought her last month, at the time Maria didn't have any money and when Isabel saw how great she looked in it, she just had to buy it for her. It made her eyes larger, greener and startingly more intense, and it seemed to give the impression that Maria was really a cat in disguise, a predator, just waiting for the moment to dig her claws into you. Giving Isabel a flashing smile, she ran a hand through her hair and asked if they were ready to go. They were.

Deciding to sit on one of the tables outside of a small coffee shop, Maria and Isabel both ordered a chicken salad and a mocha.

"So Isabel, " Maria started. Staring heard at the napkin infront of her, she had no idea how to broach the subject of Michael being back and no idea how Isabel would take the news that Michael had come to see her first. Taking a deep breath, she hurried on, "I did have to talk to you actually. Now I don't know how you're going to react but - "

"Michael's home." Isabel finished for her with a smile on her face.

"You _know!_" Maria was incredulous, her eyes opened wide and round like saucers and for a brief moment she looked as if she was the carefree Maria of sixteen again, a girl who dreamt of being a singer, of seeing the world. Not a haunted, broken twenty-three year old who has suffered from abuse, drug addictions, beatings, anorexia and complete emotional derailment for several years. "But, he arrived at 3am, how do you know already? It's only noon now!"

Isabel laughed and took a sip of her mocha. "Well...it's a funny story actually, last night we were all asleep when we suddenly heard a crash outside of our house. I ran down to see what had happened and there was a car parked not so neatly into my bumper. I went over to see who it was and shock of a lifetime, it was Michael!"

"He crashed into your car? Well...that's certainly a way for Michael to make his presence known." Laughed Maria.

"Yeah. I practically dragged him inside, made sure he wasn't bleeding or anything and then cried all over him, with a little dash of yelling as well. Though, brother or not, he'll still be paying me for those damages. Before we had a chance to properly talk though, Tammy came downstairs."

"Did she? What did Michael say?" Maria was practically leaning off her seat, she had never seen Michael around a child and had always wondered how he'd be/

"Well he'd already seen from the photos that we have a child, and that we're married, so I think he was at least okay about that. He seems so different from the old Michael...not restless or emotionally impulsive, like he's finally content with whatever it is he's doing. Like he's grown up. He got along with Tammy wonderfully, which of course made me cry again, especially when he said to her that he's staying for good."

"He said that? For good? Wow...well that's something. I wonder what everyone else will think though. What else did you talk about?"

Isabel shifted a little uncomfortably. "He told me he'd spoken to you. He seemed pretty upset about it all. I didn't tell him anything other than you'd been through a lot and it was your choice to tell him whatever you wanted to. Though, he really wants to know what's going on, he obviously cares a lot for you still."

Isabel detected a slight trembling in Maria's hands as she lowered her eyes and scrambled in her bag for a ciggarette."Yeah...last night was pretty intense. Shouting, crying, you name it. I wasn't going to tell him, but after he saw my wedding ring it just all came out. I'm not going to tell him who my husband was though, he'd kill him. I wouldn't ever think Michael was capable of cold-blooded murder but when I told Michael why me and...him were seperated, the basics about being in the hospital for a week, he exploded everything in sight and I've never seen such rage in his eyes." Maria lit her cigarette and saw it shake between her fingers quite rapidly. She lowered her voice and suppressed horror crept into her tone. "He said he'd liquifey him from the inside."

"Good." Isabel said quite plainly. "I'm glad. If I saw him again Maria I'd probably do the same thing myself. I know I shouldn't say that becuase I'm your friend and I know everything you've told me - how it wasn't completely Raths fault, how wonderful he was in the beginning but you weren't the problem 'Ria...it was his own ego that was his undoing. No matter how much you try to justify what he did, you can't justify it. Not really."

Maria nodded but didn't reply, Isabel watched as Maria seemed caught up in ghosts of her past. She could almost see the images flicker in her eyes as she looked back on god-knows-what. Isabel still didn't know the _whole_ story, not even after 6 months of daily bonding. But Isabel wouldn't push Maria into telling, she already knows more than most and she's satisfied in that, at least. It means Maria trusted her and if Maria really wanted to or needed to, she knew she would tell her anything more.

"So what_ are _your feelings on Michael being back?" Isabel asked, dying of curiosity.

"Um well it's a shock, I don't really know to be honest. I think I'm still in shock phase. But so far it seems okay with me, I'll try and get to re-know him as he's aleady told me he's changed. When are everyone else going to find out that he's here?"

"Oh yes, that's it. I've arranged a semi-formal dinner, everyone is invited, well I don't think I'll bring The Others in just yet. Michael is going to have to absorb a lot already, without confusing him with the rest of what's going on. Besides, it might make things a little less complicated for everyone else as they will have a shock too seeing Michael there. I've led Tess to believe that it's just the pregnancy that I'm announcing, as I want it to be a surprise. It's best take it all in one go I think, that have to repeat ourselves." Isabel fluttered her hands and chewed on her hair as she spoke, as if she were just trying to explain it to herself. Maria could tell Isabel was on at least 8 or 9 of the stressed richter scale - so stressed that you've convinced yourself you aren't, just to keep ahold on that small shred of sanity that will help you get you through it.

"Sounds like a good Idea." Maria said, with as much enthusiam as she could. "Better than any other idea anyway. I'm sure things eventually will be okay, just remember to breathe and say fuck it, people will react the way people will react. You can't control that." Maria smiled and watched as some of the tension left Isabel's face - she usually helped put things into perspective for her. Suddenly a thought occured..."Iz, where is Michael staying?"

"At mine, he was going to go to a motel but I wouldn't let him. I think he said something today after breakfast about going to see his old apartment sometime in the afternoon - as first he had a lot of calls to make. I think it's to do with where he used to live. Though I still haven't found out what he's been up to for the last 8 years, he tends to change the subject."

"His _apartment!_" Maria's eyes were once more very wide and round, only this time she was actually hyperventilating. "Iz, I gotta go. I have to go to his apartment before he does, clean up a little bit. You remember what a mess I made there."

"Yeah I remember, do you want me to come? I'm supposed to find - "

Maria cut her off. "No it's okay, I can do it. Probably for the best that me and Michael have a little alone time anyway if he does go, get to talk a little more perhaps. Good luck with telling everyone, I'll see you tonight. What time?"

"6pm. See you tonight. Be careful." They hugged and Maria sprinted off towards her mother's car while Isabel finished her mocha and decided to call her parents about tonight.

tbc...

**Again another filler for now, but I had to do one just to get back into the swing of writing, it's been a long time for me as I've had a lot of family problems over the last year or so. I'm sorry I've made you wait so long again for another part but I'm already writing the second part now (the proper part), so hopefully it'll be up tomorrow evening. **

Thankyou so much:

Veronica, Hayley, Astra, Magali, Keriah, AgathaN and Twighlight and Isis for such wonderful feedback and support, you guys are the reason I haven't completely given up on myself writing this.


	14. The Dinner, Part One

**The Dinner **

**Part One**

It's starting.

Michael's reflection stared back at him, his face mirroring the fear that he felt inside.

He could hear it starting downstairs. Doors were being opened, people were being greeted, compliments were being bantered around.

His heart was going so fast that it was skipping beats, hammering away so hard that he was sure he could see it through the layer of his clothes.

His clothes.

The face in the mirror grimaced as he surveyed what he'd been forced to wear. A suit. It looked completely out of place on him. He had never worn a suit before, Isabel had forced him to put it on and then she combed his hair down. His reflection looked odd, unreal, alien even. Michael smirked slightly at the thought, he _is_ an alien. He stood up and examined himself even more and decided that he looked like the world's largest penguin. Then he made a very important decision; the hair thing had to go. Michael reached up and ruffled his hair back into it's old spiky look. _Isabel be damned,_ he thought to himself, _there's no way on this planet or on any other that she can mess with my hair like that. _

Feeling like he had regained a little more of his dignity and manliness, he settled back onto the bed and drummed his fingers. He couldn't stand the waiting around. Patience had never been one of few virtues and knowing that Maria was down there, wearing something formal, waiting for him after their last conversation...well...he didn't think he'd have to explain why Isabel's lamp had a severe crack through it's base. But just a crack, that showed how much he'd managed to control his powers while he had been away, those dedicated years of honing and manipulating and controlling had paid off. The only problem was Maria. Whenever he was around her he felt completely out of control. One look from her and everything wanted to crumble away. Everything he had worked so hard for; the walls, the control, the barriers, the complete seperation from his feelings...everything he lived his life by...threatened to disappear anytime she was around him. Just her presence shook his entire world.

He thought he might have been able to handle it - that eight years of not seeing her, not being in her presence would work in his favour. But it didn't. He was weaker now that he'd ever been before, the seperation had only made her presence seem so much more stronger. He'd seen her twice since he had returned to Roswell and both times his barriers had fled, his self-control had been in shambles and where the first time he was wracked with gult and misery over the bits of information he had found out, the second time he had come close - too close - to being his old self - the one who would have grabbed her and kissed her and never would have wanted to let her go. That Maria was a dangerous woman and even now he was still confounded over the mystery of her power, the one that held him so utterly captive that most of the time he was around her he felt paralysed and terrified. He didn't like feeling that way, being so mixed up between wanting to run from her or wanting to hold her tight against him. It was why he had been so rude to her for most of the time they'd been together in high school, too terrified by the feelings to deal with them, trying desperately to hide behind anything he could.

The strange thing was, Maria had always known what he was doing. Maybe not at first, but after the time he gave her his napkin holder, after he finally managed to spit out a partial piece of his problem with her - that he couldn't be a stonewall - she had known. She saw through every gruff response and cold remark and saw _him _underneath, the boy who was trying to hide. That had troubled him more back then, he had felt naked and vulnerable. But after eight years of living within those carefully created walls, he had missed that precise feeling. He had missed the frustration and the desire and the tenderness that she invoked in him. He had missed their searing arguments and burning kisses and he had missed her going to sleep in his arms, how he would stay awake for hours delicately holding the only reason he had been given to live, feeling so unworthy to have such a beauty want him. Him. She had wanted him. He'd never managed to make himself quite believe it, even now during those two visits, he had wondered if it was a mistake, if somehow she had been misled or blinded or something to who he really was. Worthless.

Sighing, Michael tore himself from those negative thoughts and listened intently to what was going on downstairs. He could hear children, he wondered whose they were. From the sound of it, Isabel had led the rest to the garden - she and Alex had worked so hard setting it up. It would be starting soon. Michael's hands shook slightly as he realised that in ten or so minutes, everything will change.

tbc...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I know I promised everyone the proper part and I'm honestly not trying to be cruel here, but I tried all day to get the dinner scene to work in one whole part and it wasn't going very well, so I'm going to zip between different POV's first - Michael's, and Isabel's and etc during the first portion of the party, before the big surprise (aka Michael) shows. I know it's just dragging it out more but there didn't seem to be any other way, though I do promise through the POVs the story will be moving forward.

**Magali - **Thank you so much for the ever constant feedback and the email before, it really helped to get my bum into gear. I can't tell you how much it means to me to be reminded that they like my story.

**AgathaN - **Lol wow, I'm still the only Roswell fanfic you read? That is so flattering that I might cry. Thankyou so much for all of the great things you've said. You've made my day over how much you enjoy my writing :D Thank you and yeah I'm glad to be back too - was worried that I'd forgotten how to write!

**Hayley **- Aw I missed ya too. Yeah my family is okay now, thanks for asking :) lol well i hope i haven't dashed your excitment about the chapter, i know everyone wants to get to the confrontation but because it's so huge to write, im finding it extremely complicated. don't worry though, it will happen. i won't keep you forever waiting lol. thankyou for your feedback and your ever constant support, it really has kept me writing this.


	15. The Dinner, Part Two

**The Dinner **

**Part Two**

"Come on Jim, it's time to go! We're going to be late!" Amy DeLuca-Valenti called from the bottom of the stairs. Muttering to herself, she smoothed down her light pink dress, grabbed her cream jacket and opened the front door. "I'll leave without you mister! You know I will!"

"I'm-a coming Amy, hold your damn horses." Jim thundered down the stairs with his shirt half-tucked and his hat in hand.

"Oh Jim, look at you." Amy fussed, tucking in his shirt as he picked up his dinner jacket from the chair. She glanced over at Maria who had been watching them and smiling to herself at the scene. It was so nice to see her baby-girl smile again. She knew it had to be something to do with this sudden dinner arrangement; as soon as Maria had gotten back from whatever she'd done today, everything about her was so much lighter. For the first time, in a long time, she had seemed like her younger self and it had lasted so far for a full 3 hours.

God her heart hurt when she thought of what her only daughter had been through these past few years. She still cried quietly at night, remembering the day she had finally received the call from the hospital, telling her where her baby had been after 4 years of not knowing. Maria had disappeared four years after Michael had, and she hadn't been seen until that fateful day.

Amy still partially blamed herself for that, if she hadn't kicked her out…if she hadn't driven her to stay at that Deserter's apartment…making things worse for herself, she would never have moved away in the first place. Then she would never have met that asshole that spent those remaining years turning her into the scared, abused and broken girl that she was now.

Shaking her head away from these thoughts she glanced herself over in the mirror; she looked fine, Maria was helping carry her especially home-cooked pies, Jim was finally neatly dressed…that man was worse than a two year old sometimes…everything was ready.

"Well? What are we standing her for, woman? Come on lets go. I thought you were in a rush!" Jim teased good-naturedly and Amy gave him a playful slap on the shoulder as they walked to the car.

Maria frowned. She wanted to warn her mother about Michael, as much as she had teased him earlier that day, she really was afraid of the reaction. Anytime she mentioned his name, her mother refused to hear anything, calling him more names than she had ever heard before. This wasn't a good thing to surprise her with, but if she told her now – then she may refuse to come. Or worse, she would come and make things worse before they had even begun. _I guess this day was always going to come, and no matter when or where I told her, it wouldn't matter…the reaction would be the same. At least she can be surprised with everyone else._ And with that thought she settled herself, ready for the evening to begin.

* * *

"Are you sure it's straight? Isabel notices these things..." Kyle peered into the glass front door and attempted to re-straighten his tie using his distorted reflection. He was always a bundle of nerves when he came to Isabel's, everything was always so perfect, so unlike their own house. In _their_ house they were lucky if the twins had managed to leave one room vaguely resembling a room. But he wouldn't have it any way; he loved his boys and his life.

"Yes Kyle! For the hundredth time now, your tie is straight!" Tess glared at him and smacked his hand away from returning to his collar.

"Mommy, is Auntie Maria coming?"

Tess looked down at her freshly scrubbed son and smiled warmly. "Yes Jimmie, Auntie Maria is coming. I know how much you and James like to play with her. Though remember, this is a grownup party as well and the grownups will need to talk when Auntie Izzy makes her announcement. But Tammy will be there too so you can play with her if Maria is busy."

"Tammy? Oooh James did you hear that? Your _girlfriend_ will be there...hope you're not going to be kissy kissy all night..." Jimmie taunted his twin brother who had flushed an interesting colour at Tammy's name. Out of embarrassment, James punched Jimmie hard on the arm and ordered him to shut up.

Kyle laughed, he never failed to be amused by the twins teasing each other, "Now now Jimmie, leave your brother alone, if James likes Tammy then Tammy is a very lucky girl. Besides, he can't help it if he has a cruush..." Jimmie giggled behind his hands; his daddy was always great fun.

"Enough now, okay, we all ready?" Tess scanned her family. _Kyle - smart? straight-tied? Check. Jimmie - smart? clean? Check. James - smart? clean? Check. Herself - hair fluffed? Lip glossed? Check. _"Good. Now let's do this." She knocked on the door and was immediately met with the happy faces of Alex and Maria.

"Auntie Maria!" The boys yelled in unison, then simultaneously ran into the hallway and wrapped themselves around her middle.

"Oh -_oof! _- Wow hey boys!" Maria slightly unnerved looked at Tess and Kyle, who had started to laugh at their sons' enthusiasm.

"They sure do love ya Maria." Kyle smirked. "Careful, they'll love you to death."

Maria grinned. "Well boys, lets take you into the playroom for now, there's some snacks in there because I know you must be hungry and Tammy's waiting in there too."

As the boys ran off, Tess turned towards Maria, "Wow Maria, you look amazing! God how I miss having the figure to wear something like that!" Maria blushed, she had worked hard to look good this evening, butterflies wouldn't stop racing in her stomach as she thought of Michael waiting just up the stairs.

"Now, now sweetie, we talked about this - none of the 'woe is me I'm a pregnant girl' again. I would have believed you were sad about it the first time, but this time it's all on your own." Maria grinned. "Besides, you look positively radiant, doesn't she Kyle?"

Kyle looked down at his wife, the love of his life and a dopey grin appeared on his face, "you look beautiful honey." And she certainly did; her dress was a deep shade of shimmering purple that brought out the darker blue in her eyes and her shoulder length blonde hair had been teased into a soft bundle of curls.

Tess laughed and they moved towards garden where the tables had been set up. It looked incredible! There were several tables put together so neatly that it didn't show, covered with a deep blue tablecloth and white candles along its centre. Around the patio there were fairy lights hung around the eating area, giving it a magical glow, and the far view of the table was of a small patch of woodland and a lake. It really was majestic.

Jim and Amy were already seated with a full glass of wine either side of them, they exchanged the usual warm family hellos, smiles and compliments and Kyle settled down in his seat next to his father.

"Wow Isabel, you've really out done yourself!" Tess remarked in surprise and awe. However, to her, it did seem a little much for just a second pregnancy announcement. Furthermore, she hadn't seen Maria smile a real gods-to-honest smile like that in a long time…she knew there was something else going on. Counting the placements, she was surprised to find such a large number, "so who exactly is coming tonight? It looks like you've invited half of the town!"

"Oh just the usual…don't worry, you just take a seat, I remember what it was like to be 7 months pregnant and I bet your feet are aching!" Iz called out, as she busied herself with the food.

"I better go help Izzy with the food, before she starts freaking out about something." Maria smiled, walked back into the kitchen and quietly freaked out to herself instead behind the back garden door.

"Maria you okay?" Isabel asked, but with a knowing smile.

"No Izzy, no I'm not. Do you have any idea what my mother will do the minute she _sees_ Michael? She will either faint, god-willing, or she will throw that table across the lawn and stab him with a serving spoon. Now, do you really want that? Because I don't think that's quite the 'civilised dinner' approach that you're going for here!" Just as Maria started to truly hyperventilate, Isabel grabbed the cedar oil from the side of the kitchen worktop and waved it under her nose.

"Calm Maria, think of calm blue sea…calm forests…" Maria inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, remembering all of those times when a bottle of cedar oil was never far from her reach. Then again, for a while neither had been a bottle of tequila or a bag of coke….maybe cedar sniffing was what started that kind of dependency. Either way, it worked. Maria was calm once again…barely.

"Right, well I have to go see him. I can't stand around here, waiting for the shit to hit the fan, and I bet he's going stir-crazy up there, you sure he hasn't run off again without you knowing? I would if I was sat up there waiting to be executed in front of all my loved ones."

Isabel giggled, "Yes you're definitely right, we shouldn't leave him up there too long. You should go check on him…both prepare yourselves…this night isn't going to be easy. I invited the Others afterall, I gave Max a ring and asked him to pick them up on the way – best get it all over and done with in one night, right?"

Maria gave her a sideways look, "Iz, I hate to break this to ya but I don't think _any_ of this will be done in one night…"

"Yeah…I know…but a girl can hope right?" Isabel sighed, _maybe_ _this was bad idea. Maybe this should have been done more slowly. Oh well, too late now…_

* * *

Maria walked up the stairs, her high heeled shoes creaking the aged steps as she went. Her chest was tight and she felt like she could barely breathe. The butterflies in her stomach had once more turned to bats and she almost froze from sheer panic. What was it about this guy that made her reactions so violent? She felt like she wanted to throw up or run away, or maybe both.

Michael. Michael. Michael. It still didn't feel real to her, just another coked up dream, _Michael_ was just a head of her, waiting in a room to come down to dinner. Nope, it was all so crazy. Michael was back, they had been in his apartment only a few hours ago, laughing and joking like old times…this couldn't be real. Wouldn't it feel so much bigger? But Maria couldn't possibly picture how bigger it could feel than it already did, she already felt like she was dreaming, just floating down the hallway – ready to wake up.

She could hear signing and muttering from the spare room, and the steady thumps of him drumming his fingers against the bed. She knew he'd be going crazy; patience had never been his strong suit. She betted he was so scared too. The sudden knowledge that Michael might need her cleared away the panicky feelings and the dream-like haze, she felt awake again and in control. She walked confidently towards his bedroom door and rapped lightly on it,

"Michael? You decent?" She smirked. "Well I'm coming in anyway…"

Michael bolted onto his feet, unable to control himself as he watched her come in. By the gods she was gorgeous! Her silk emerald green dress clung to all of her sensual curves. The colour of the dress contrasting against the golden jewels attached throughout her wavy blonde hair made her eyes burn and dance like green fire. Her lips, so full, were covered by a barely there gloss, and boy did Michael hope it tasted of strawberries – as it always had done. He felt like he was looking at some other being, not an alien like himself, but at some mystical beauty. She looked too perfect to be real, if he touched her, she would just melt away. Some Aphrodite conjured by his feverish imagination.

Until, a full-on belly laugh erupted from her mouth and distorted the illusion of a mirage. She couldn't help it; seeing Michael there so gorgeous in a suit, yet so utterly taken aback had made a very amusing image. His slack-jawed expression was the one she had been going for, yet it looked so wrong on his face, she was far too used to his minute expressions, so when there's a reaction as large as this – it just seemed too cartoon-ish to bear.

"Maria…you okay? What's so funny? It's the suit isn't it? God…I knew I shouldn't have let Isabel talk me into this." Michael stared at himself in the mirror, wishing to anyone who was listening to make Maria stop laughing. _Shit, if she finds me so funny looking now, what will it be like when I try to marry her? Wait…Marry her? Fuck, where the hell did that thought come from?_

"No…no…" She panted, trying desperately to catch her breath for possibly the third time that day, "You look gorgeous, it was just…your face…when I walked in…" she giggled again quietly, "…it was just comical!"

"Oh." Michael didn't know what else to say. He stopped hearing anything after the throwaway "gorgeous" comment.

Both Michael and Maria turned their heads at the sound of the door, Alex walked up to answer it and three voices could be distinctly heard coming through the doorway. Michael cocked his head to listen but all he could hear were the low baritones of two males and a melodic but shy tone of a girl. He knew one of them was Max - he could feel it – just like he did at that bar. But who were the other two? Liz and….?

"Before you ask, I'm not going to tell you who they are. It's part of the surprise. There's surprises going around for everyone tonight, you included." Maria stated in a wry tone.

She saw a quick flash of panic dart across Michael's face and felt sorry for him, she knew how hard for him this must be, to come back to something after so long, 4 years away had taught her the cycle of running. The longer you stay away, the harder it is to go back. Maria sat down next to him on the bed, interlocked her fingers between his own and gave his hand a warm and comforting squeeze. "Don't worry Michael, what's done is done. After the initial shock, and then after the hurt and pain has poured out, it will get easier. I promise you that."

Michael set his bewildered brown eyes upon her steady green ones, "_Why_ are you being so nice Maria? _Why_ are you helping me? Shouldn't you be throwing me to the wolves? I thought I would ruin your life by staying here with you, but these whispers and half-stories I've gotten from you and Isabel make me think that leaving was worse." Michael's face crumpled as some of the recent events and information began to truly sink in. "I should have been there! I should have been there for you! I should have protected you from this ex-husband of yours. God, Maria, you shouldn't ever forgive me for this. I thought **I** went through hell all of those years away from you! Jesus! I had a fucking holiday while I let the one woman I have ever loved get put into the fucking hospital by some asshole that shouldn't have dared to touch you in the first place...just tell me why Maria, why are you being so nice?"

Maria stared at him, shaken by his outburst. He hadn't noticed that tears were rolling down his face, but there they were. Tenderly, she wiped away the droplets and kissed his cheek. "Because Michael, if you carry hate for too long it will kill you, what happened wasn't your fault. Yes, you were the catalyst but I learned a while ago to stop blaming my own failings in life on the action of a teenage boy that disappeared 8 years ago. A boy who is standing before me now as a grown man, a man who may never have developed into such a good person had he not made the best decision of His life and left. To be honest Michael, growing up under the thumb of Max and the clucking of Izzy, I don't think you would be the same person you are today and I probably wouldn't feel the same way about that person, as I do about you right now."

Michael stared into those beautiful green eyes and leaned towards her, anticipation was thick in the air, the tops of their lips brushed against each other and he thought he was going to explode…her full, strawberry tasting lips started to melt against his own…

_KNOCK KNOCK_

They jumped apart; flushed, embarrassed and extremely turned on.

Isabel walks in, smiles and pretends she doesn't notice the discomfort, the tense atmosphere or the tear tracks on Michael's face. "Hi guys, dinners going to be starting soon. I need Maria there as part of the build up, to reassure everyone that she's fine with this…Michael, when I call for you to come down…you come down. We're all in the garden." Isabel gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, "don't worry, it'll be okay." Then without another word, she hurried back downstairs, ready to start serving dishes.

"Right so…I'll see you downstairs then. May god have mercy on our souls." Joked Maria a little woodenly, too stunned by the near kiss to put any emotion behind it. Carefully, she smoothed down her dress, fixed her hair in the mirror and gave Michael a flash of a smile. "It's show-time! And remember, it _will_ get easier." With one lingering look at his lips, Maria left the room and composed herself to see the rest of the people she has grown to call family.

And so Michael was left alone again…waiting…with faint traces of strawberry lip-gloss on his mouth and bats for butterflies in his stomach.

* * *

**Authors Note: **

Gosh, I cannot believe I haven't written anything for this fic in two years!

I am shocked and deeply aplogetic, for those who have been following this fic, I couldn't have disappeared at a worse time for the story - it just started out as writers block on how to approach it, and so I turned to my other fics, and then I stopped writing altogether because I had alot of personal stuff to deal with.

But now I'm back on the horse, sorry about this chapter - I know it's not what was promised. But its very long and I wanted to get all of the potential filler rubbish ou to fmy head first before I get to one of the Big Scenes.

I want to thank spaceboi's pixie, **Hayley**, Keirah, sunshine-faery (Hollie), Dizzy Moon, AgathaN, Candylovin Fehrian and **Magali** for your incredible feedback for my last chapter. I just hope some of you will manage to see the new ones as you all have been such amazing readers.

In response to **Magali's** question, yes Rath may well be dealt with in this story. It is possible there will be an appearance, but I have no idea due to what circumstances yet...so please keep reading.


	16. The Dinner, Part Three

**The Dinner**

**Part Three  
**

Despite the potentially disastrous confluence of events ahead; the night was exquisite. Dusk had settled and the night-sky was a deep and thrilling colour of indigo and violet. The stars had all come out to watch this social gathering that was filled with such portent and they glimmered with secrets untold of what was to come. A night co-ordinated by Isabel Whitman always appeared to be a night of such elegance.

Light conversation and easy going raillery between the extended family were a-plenty. Maria sat down next to Tess and smiled a little uneasily. Utter foreboding about this evening churned in side of her stomach. The stress was getting to her and it took all of her self-control to not light up a cigarette. The warm and soothing smoke beckoned to her and she wrung her hands under the table to stop herself. Tess gave Maria a questioning look but was stopped before she could say anything as Isabel started serving the dinner.

"Yo Iz, Tess is right!" Ava said in surprise, "You've really gone to the nines this time! What's this one called?" Zan nodded in agreement at his wife's remark as he resumed cutting up his steak.

Isabel beamed at Ava's compliment as Alex sat down next to her at the head of the table, "its chipotle grilled filets with mango salsa, we have a chocolate and raspberry soufflé for later and of course Amy, your delicious pies with cream. I thought it'd be nice to have something fun this evening. The kids, by demand from Tammy, are getting stuck in at the kitchen table with sausage, beans and mashed potato and they have chocolate and vanilla ice cream for dessert."

"So Izzy, what's the special occasion?" Max enquired. Everyone else's heads turned towards Isabel, their faces expectant for her announcement, they all had guessed that it was about her 2nd pregnancy.

Isabel cleared her throat and lifted her water glass. She darted one look at Maria who nodded at her with a wavering smile, they both knew that the moment had come but for some reason, looking at their faces that were beaming with such love, Isabel couldn't do it. After all of the planning and organising and fussing, she couldn't say it. Her stomach clenched up and she heard herself say instead, with a forced, brilliant smile, "Me and Alex are having another baby!"

Everyone smiled apart from Maria, their suspicions confirmed and a 'congratulations' was given from everyone. Maria waited until the initial fuss died down and without thinking; she stood up as well, shooting Isabel a resolved look.

"Hey everyone," she shifted uncomfortably, "there's actually another announcement to make," This time everyone's faces were a little worried, they knew what Maria had been through and too many of them expected more bad news, convinced that these 6 months of a shaky truce between Maria and the group was too good to be true. Maria noted these worried expressions and took a deep breath, "there is _another _announcement," she said and her voice rang loudly in the air, "the real reason why you all have been asked here. We have another guest who is waiting upstairs and before you say anything, please let me tell you that I am **okay** with it. So if I'm okay, then the least you can do is give him the benefit of the doubt." And with that she went back inside and called up the stairs, "Hey! You can come down now!"

Everyone waited, confused and eager to see who this mystery person was. Maria and Isabel felt sick with anticipation. They could hear his hesitant strides as he walked through the kitchen and out of the back door. With the fairy light shining above his head, Michael finally came into view, illuminating his fearful expression and his nervous demeanour. "Hey guys…I um…came back last night."

Silence.

Stunned, paralysed silence.

Then, without warning, Kyle sprung from his chair.

"You BASTARD!" He roared and punched Michael in the mouth, knocking him down across the patio floor. Blood spurted from the side of Michael's lip as it split from the force of Kyle's fist. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD! WHAT, YOU HADN'T HURT ENOUGH PEOPLE ALREADY?!" Kyle was on him, punching him as hard as he could, wherever he could, shouting from the top of his lungs. Maria and Isabel screamed.

Jim rushed over and pulled Kyle off Michael and quickly restrained him against the floor with his hands behind his back. He whispered quietly into Kyle's ear, "Son, don't do this. Your two boys are only in the next room; do you want them to see that? Or hear that language? You're not 16 anymore, you've grown up. You're a father and a husband. I know you care for Maria like a sister but she has been through enough, the last thing she wants to see is more violence. Okay?"

Kyle nodded. He'd forgotten about his boys. All he had seen was the same face of the two men who'd shattered his sister's spirit. He didn't help Michael back up but he did sit back down next to his loving wife and let her try to soothe him.

Alex bent down and helped Michael up as Isabel rushed off to the kitchen to find a first aid kit. Michael's face was raw and bloody, his lips were swollen and his eyes were puffy. Two of Tess' faces swam in front of him. Yep, he thought, he definitely has a concussion from that fall.

Protectively, Maria stood in front of Michael and glared fiercely down at the table. "Don't any of you ever **listen** to me? I know you're all angry and hurt, so much has happened, but for god's sake, I think we've had enough violence to last us a lifetime! You **can't** blame Michael for how I lived my life after he left. You just can't! Yes I went through hell, yes you all had to sit there and fucking watch me, which hurt you too," Maria was crying but she hadn't noticed, the tears just rolled down her face as she continued her speech. "But face it - it wasn't Michael's fault! It was my own! Be angry at those who _did _physically hurt me, my ex was the one who put me in hospital. But that wasn't Michael's fault! That was _his_. Don't blame Michael for being 16 and wanting to be somewhere else. We've all changed since then, we've all grown up and taken responsibility for our irresponsible actions and so has Michael. So please, deal with it and eat the damn food that Isabel worked so hard over." Maria helped Michael to his chair and started to nurse his wounds as he shamefacedly looked down at his lap.

Isabel smiled at Maria's fire; it was so nice to see it back, her strength always amazed her. She truly was a rara avis.

Amy wasn't smiling. In fact, Amy hadn't said a word while all of this was happening. Once Maria had sat down, she stood up. Everyone turned nervously to watch her – the tension was so thick that it would take more than a knife to cut through it. But Amy didn't do anything, say anything. Amy just put her jacket back on, walked past the row of terrified family members, through Isabel's house and straight out of the front door. In total silence. Then, the sound of a car leaving the premises could be heard; the tyres screeching as they roared down the street.

The silence continued for a moment, no-one knowing exactly what to say to this impromptu chaos, until a quiet giggle infiltrated the hush.

Everyone turned to the source of the noise; Max sat there with his hand over his face, silently shaking. Another giggle fell from his lips, one that quickly erupted into a hysteric gale of belly-laughter. Maria's heart fluttered, worried that this final piece of news had sent Max over the edge. After all, Max had pretty much thrown his whole life away to search for Michael for the past 8 years and hadn't ever found him.

Kyle frowned. "Man, are you okay? I don't think this is the time to laugh. This is some heavy shit going down here."

Max laughed a little more, but managed to compose himself and then he looked up at Isabel and wiped tears from his eyes, "I saw Michael last night too. I found him but he looked so happy that I decided to just leave. I was going to tell you but I thought maybe it would be best after dinner…."

Michael raised his head slowly, his face was covered in shades of blue and purple and he winced at the small, painful movement. "I knew you were there. You're the reason why I came back last night, you looked so tired…so I decided to come back to face what I'd left behind. I didn't realise I would miss so much. It's just the longer I stayed away, the harder it was to come back. Mostly because I..er..." Michael surveyed those who were listening, "knew I'd come back to this."

He then looked a little harder at the dinner guests. Over at the end of the table there was Max; with his leather coat on the back of a chair and his slightly greying floppy brown hair. Yet opposite him, something he hadn't noticed while he was being pummelled by Kyle, there was another Max. Only this one had many facial piercings and a goatee.

"What the…" The Other Max smirked and gave him a small wave.

Michael swayed uneasily on his chair, his eyes rolled backwards...and suddenly the Other Max's face was being replaced by budding darkness…

* * *

**Authors Note:**

**Dizzy Moon:** Thanks for the Fb :D I hope the anticipation hasn't killed you before you can read this. I finally wrote the damn scene lol

**Magali: **Ahhh Magali, I will never stop writing this. I may take a 3 year break lol but trust me I will never stop. Even if in the en donly you and AgathaN are the only ones reading heheh. Well as you may see, Amy's murdering may happen later. I hope you're not disappointed after waiting so long.

**AgathaN: **Yay I'm back XD and it's lovely to hear from you again hugs I'm glad you enjoyed the new chapter, and I especially hope you liked this one...its a little brief but I couldn't have too many explosive reactions in one go. Would have killed me trying to write that :D


	17. Awakening

**Awakening**

* * *

Sombrely, Maria watched as Max ran his hands over Michael, healing the bruised, bloody wounds that had been caused by Michael repeatedly hitting Kyle's fist with his face. Her stomach rolled at the sight of so much blood. _Head wounds always bleed like a bitch, _she remembered. She shook her head and cleared her mind, before it dragged her down into the sordid memories of a girl she no longer was.

"So, yo man here didn't take da news well huh?" Zan chuckled, breaking Maria's reverie.

Maria smiled back wanly, "I don't think anyone took _anything_ well this evening."

Max sat back and released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "He looks like he's going to be okay, I think we should let him rest. It's been a rough night. Though, what were you and Isabel thinking, ambushing all of us with this! Michael with the others…us with Michael?"

Maria's eyes narrowed to dark green slits. "And what were you thinking, not telling us you had seen him? If he hadn't come home that night, were you ever going to tell anyone? Were you ever going to tell **me**?!"

Embarrassed, Max looked down and around the guest bedroom. To be honest he wasn't sure. Maria was so unpredictable. They had lost her for years because of Michael; he hadn't wanted that to happen again. Max was only starting to know the new Maria, he didn't want to chance it. Because of him and his selfishness in the past, he had cost Maria her best friend…

_

* * *

  
_

_Shouts could be heard from outside of the door. Max hesitated before knocking and listened instead._

"_This is all YOUR fault!"_

"_Oh go away Liz; I've had enough of your prissy life pushed in my face. Go and cry into a pillow somewhere." Maria's voice sounded bitter and tired, like she was finally beyond caring for anything other than oblivion. After 6 months of acting positive, happy and generally unbreakable, Maria finally crashed. She had spent the remaining 6 months either sleeping or getting trashed. _

"_Oh, shut up Maria. You know this is your fault. If it wasn't for you and your worthless fling, Max wouldn't have left me. We're soulmates. We're supposed to be together and you __**ruined**__ it! I've had enough of this self-pitying rubbish. Why in earth are you even like this? We all know that you and Michael weren't really anything to each other; he's already shown you that. Your entire relationship was just convenience and lust. That's why he found it so easy to just walk out the door. Just like your father."_

_There was silence. _

_Max pressed his ear closer to the door._

_CRASH!_

_The noise reverberated through the house, making Max jump several feet into the air. Quickly, he used his powers to unlock the door and ran full pelt into the living room. Liz was laying in a heap against the far wall and Maria was stood over her, her face was screwed up in anger, a flush covering her cheeks and her fists so tightly clenched that Max could see faint traces of the bones underneath. _

_Max ran to Liz and checked her pulse. It was steady. Maria barely spared him a glance. She just laid back down across the dirty beige settee, closed her eyes and repeated the only thing she had said to him for the last year. "Have you found him yet?"_

_Max muttered a 'no' and scooped Liz up into his arms to carry her home. _

"_Max?"_

_Max turned towards the thin tired girl that once used to be his friend, "Yes?"_

"_I don't want to see Liz again. Make sure you tell her that when she wakes up. And if you have no news, I don't want to see you either." Maria's voice, once so melodic was now emotionless and it hurt Max's heart to hear such empty syllables. She sighed and started to drift back asleep, cuddled up in the foetal position. "I just want to be alone…"_

_

* * *

  
_

Maria relented slightly after seeing pain flash through Max's eyes. She may have her Michael back but Liz was lost forever and that was something Max had to bear. "Sorry, I know you would have told us." Maria smirked slightly, "Girlfriend, I don't think you will ever know how to lie, I still need to teach you to play poker properly."

Zan interrupted their apologies, "yo guyz he's awake."

Michael started to open his eyes as a steady beat of pain coursed through his temples. He felt like a spaceship had landed on top of his head. His eyes met large green ones, eyes that were obviously relieved to see him. "What happened?" He asked groggily.

Maria laughed; the happy tinkling sound filled the room. "You fainted, big man. Full on swooned like one of those sissy girls from Jane Austen books." He coloured slightly and glanced around the room.

"I think I've got a concussion, I keep seeing two of you Max."

Zan smirked and knelt forward. "It's Zan – I'm Max's clone."

Michael gazed at Zan and Zan's piercings, "Max's clone? Well of course, that seems pretty reasonable. Wouldn't want just one to act like a pain in the ass."

Max laughed, "Well he's definitely going to be fine. We'll tell you all about it downstairs."

"Great…downstairs…with everyone." Michael mumbled.

Maria's eyes narrowed. "Don't worry, Kyle won't punch you again and my mom left. You have a few people to meet and a lot to hear about."

"Pfft if Kyle wants to have another go, he won't get me by surprise again. I can take him." Michael argued as Maria smiled softly, yes he was definitely going to be fine.

Maria supported Michael and helped him walk down to the garden table where everyone else was eating and nervously waiting for his reappearance.

Tess gave Kyle a glare and small kick. "Sorry Michael for hitting you." Kyle mumbled. Maria had to almost stifle a laugh at his petulant face, still such a kid.

"No problem Kyle. I would have hit me too." Michael mumbled and sat down next to Maria.

"Yo Michael, I'm Ava. Didn't really get ta introduce maself 'fore you fainted."

"Hi Ava. So it's Ava and Zan right? Okay…before we start going into what I've obviously missed, can we eat? I'm starving!"

The group laughed and Jim sounded an appreciative "Hear, hear."

Isabel smiled as she watched her family eat the food she had prepared with such gusto. It was nice to have Michael back. It was nice that old wounds were beginning that journey of healing.

* * *

**Authors Note:  
The next part is almost finished, I just thought I'd get this one up here for now.**

dddynamite - hey thanks for feedbacking :) hope this was soon enough

AgathaN - hey:) thanks, yeah was pretty intense - the one following the above should be fairly intense too.

Magali - wow thanks so much for the fb, makes my day when people love the fic. yeah...when he learns about rath, it will be _very_ emotional.

islandgirlzee **- **yay a new reader, im so glad you like it. i hoped this would be quite different to many i have read. my spin on liz and max is a fairly tragic story in itself when its fully written

Paradise Desdemona - lol i should be thanking you, im overwhlemed with how much people responded to what has been the hardest part to write :D yeah i love that he fainted heheh.

Scorpio6 - nope no liz and eventually you will find out why she's been missing from so much. glad you're enjoying it, thanks for the fb.


	18. A Phone Call

**A Phone Call**

* * *

Once the meal was finished and the glasses refilled, Michael sat back in the comfortable chair and felt the fresh air on his face. "Okay I'm ready. Hit me. Or well…don't…on second thoughts."

A small smile flickered across Max's face as he lent forward onto the table. "Okay, I'm not going to give you a long summary of the past eight years. It would just take too long. So we will start with the need-to-know stuff first, how about you just ask and we'll answer for now?"

Michael nodded understandingly; he too couldn't really tell them in one succession what he'd been through. So much he still hadn't told Maria. "Right well why are there two of you and Tess? How did that happen? And most importantly, is there another handsome bastard like myself running around, because that would be really cool."

Maria paled and stood up quickly, knocking over a glass of water. "Oops! Sorry, clumsy me!" She trilled. "I just need to go…bathroom." nd with an apologetic smile to the table of startled onlookers she sprinted back into the house.

What's wrong with Maria?" Michael frowned, watching her retreating back slip into the kitchen and away from sight.

"Well when you gotta go…" Kyle laughed nervously, his eyes darting over to Max.

Max continued, "When our ship crashed there were two sets of us. One was left here and the other was left in New York. Your clone is called Rath and Isabel's is called Lonnie, these were our names in our previous lives on Antar, they approached us not long after you left. There's a race of aliens that were our enemies called the Skins, whose leader is called Khivar. Khivar was in control of Antar. He arranged a meeting in New York and only wanted the true king to attend, which was myself as Zan didn't pass the test. The meeting didn't go well, Khivar asked for something I wouldn't give and in the end we went home."

"So what did Khivar want? And where are Lonnie and Rath now?"

Max shifted slightly. "Khivar wanted a powerful device called the Granolith, which was hidden behind our pods. It's sort of the Holy Grail on our planet. Well…we haven't spoken to Lonnie in a while. It turned out Lonnie was working with the Skins. Lonnie tried to kill Zan but luckily she was stopped by Ava and Zan banished Lonnie away from New York and Roswell." Max looked down at the tablecloth, remembering the story they had agreed upon while Michael was passed out. "Rath was used as a backup second in command, since you weren't there, but once the battles were over Rath took off and we haven't seen much of him since then."

"I guess me and him are pretty similar then." Michael smiled a little bitterly, but Ava's eyes rounded in horror.

"No! You much better than that low life. He was scum." She spat.

Everyone shifted nervously, their eyes not quite meeting his. Michael frowned, something was off. "Am I missing something? Maxwell?"

Max grimaced. "Rath was part of the attempted assassination on Zan, before they realised that Zan wasn't the true King. We believe he may also have been behind other failed assassination attempts of Max. Rath thought he would make a better King, less of a pacifist."

Michael smiled wryly at the familiar phrase repeated back to him. "What about Maria? What was she doing during all of this?"

Max shook his head sadly, "You have to ask Maria, that's not our story to tell. But she wasn't in Roswell at this point."

"What about Liz? Where is she? I would have thought she'd be here with you."

Max openbed his mouth to answer but a muffled version of 'Nothing Else Matters' by Metallica started playing in the background. Michael fished in his pockets and looked at his phone, it was Rory. Christ, he had forgotten about his other life. "Shit, sorry guys, I gotta take this."

Michael walked through the house and into the empty front room, not noticing that Maria was sat on the stairs beside the door. "Hey Rory, how's it going?"

"_Michael! Dude! Where have you been? We looked everywhere for you when you disappeared like that! Did you hook up with someone? " _

Michael laughed. "No not exactly. I'm in Roswell, visiting …err...family."

"_Oh right, so how's it going with Maria then?"_

Michael was stunned. "How did you know about her?"

"_You mumble in your sleep. It doesn't take a genius to see you're hung up on someone from your past, all the girls…plus your art… as I don't remember any of your girls being blonde and green eyed." He could see Rory's face, smug and satisfied at being right. "Oh yeah and Cara's gallery is pretty insistent for an answer, she was also wondering where you had disappeared to. How long am I going to have to cover?" _

"I dunno how long I'm going to be here, a few days perhaps? Don't worry I'll call Cara. I just need some time and some space… I need to figure some things out before I make such a big commitment."

"_Michael, only you would consider having your artwork put up in its own gallery show as a 'big commitment'. You know, you should tell Maria about it before you do, considering half of your show is of her image." _

"Yeah I know, I'll tell Maria when I can. Timing isn't right at the moment. Everything is pretty….intense. Anyway will speak to you later, I'm in the middle of a family dinner."

"_Okay then, good luck; ring me when you've talked to Cara."_

"I will. Bye."

Michael turned around at the sound of an engine and watched as Maria's car sped off loudly into the darkness.

"Maria!" Shit, he cursed, had she heard the entire thing? He'd probably scared her off. At some point, she had obviously moved on, okay the guy was bastard that needed a good ass-kicking but he hadn't moved on; he had just painted her over and over. Obsessive much?

Michael ran out, jumped into Max's army jeep and drove after her. He had to sort this out once and for all.

_

* * *

_

Authors Note: I know its short but theres another chapter I'm posting after this! So sorry about the length of time, my life is just drama drama drama. Everyone is so fantastic for sticking with this.

**Paradise Desdemona** - Thank you for the fb, glad you enjoyed it. Ah yeah Liz, you will hear more, I promise.

**Scorpio6** - Thanks :) Here's two more chapters for you!

**Magali** = Yep that is some of the reasons to it. Fear, loss etc More will be revealed about liz. Thanks for the constant fb.

**Maji343** - Sorry to make you wait, but got extra chapters and another being written aswell. Hope you enjoy.

**Lucas4everPeyton** - Yes many do owe apologies. But then they did try and get Maria to stop. I am a little confused by your fb, is it better if liz is in this or if liz isn't? Thanks for reading though :) Will definitely try not to take so long finishing.

**Charming Seductress** - Hey thanks! Glad you're enjoying it. I'm also interested in knowing where its going hehe.


	19. Relapse

**Relapse**

********

_You could be my unintended  
Choice to live my life extended  
You could be the one I'll always love  
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions  
You could be the one I'll always love_

_  
I'll be there as soon as I can  
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before _

(Muse - Unintended)

****

Maria cried as she sat in the parked car. She didn't notice the tears slipping down her face; she only felt her heart breaking all over again. It was stupid of her really, how could she assume that because she was unattached, he would be too?_ No_, a small voice insisted_, what about those looks they had shared, that kiss! _Her eyes fluttered closed in remembrance of that kiss in the bedroom, the electricity, the passion; it couldn't have just been inside of her head! Another spasm of pain ripped through her as she imagined Michael with this girl, happy and in love, kissing this…this..._Cara_ the way he had kissed her. Numb, she stared at her destination; it was lit and beckoning to her, whispering promises of comfort and absolution and she just wasn't strong enough to fight it. She grabbed her bag and ran in.

The clerk, silent and without judgement, rang up the till as she paid for her bottles. The whole family was back together, jack, gin and vodka. She took the bag and started to drive aimlessly, but after a while she noticed that she had ended up outside of Michael's old apartment. It was dark and undisturbed; he obviously hadn't come back here tonight. The bottles clanged together as she picked the bag up and quickly she slipped inside.

The apartment looked better after she and Michael had cleaned it up earlier that day, her chest throbbed at the memory, she had felt so hopeful for a new beginning, had felt like her old self had returned, as if cleaning the apartment had cleansed her of her past. But it was too late …so now she was going to dirty it back up again. She sat down on the sofa and swigged from the bottle of Jack Daniels, ahh her favourite poison, the delicious burning sensation at the back of her throat spread down to her middle, creating a warm soothing blanket of pain and misery.

She lay back on the sofa and stared up at the paint flaked ceiling, letting herself drown in the warm haze of old memories.

_

* * *

_

"_Wow look at that, the dishes have magically cleaned themselves! Can't have been __**my **__boyfriend, he doesn't ' do' cleaning." Maria smirked as she sashayed barefoot into the kitchen of their new apartment, drinking in the view of a domestic alien. She lent over the counter and gave her spiky-haired boyfriend a deep and tender kiss. He smiled back and playfully flicked her with the dish cloth. _

"_Hey I jus' thought someone should do it. Aint havin' cockroaches hangin' bout da place." Rath grinned. "Dis one time thing tho, we all knows a woman does da cleanin. I'm a man, can't be doin' dis type of work." Maria gasped and hit him on the arm. Rath laughed as he fended off the small fists of fury. "I'm only messin', guess we're sharing the cleanin duties?" _

"_You guessed right buddy! So what are we doing today?" It was their first week at the apartment in Las Cruces; they had decided to move in together 6 months after meeting at the club. Maria knew he drove into Roswell often to meet up with the others, but he promised he wouldn't mention her to them, she may be a little more sober than the year before but she didn't want any of them back in her life. _

_Rath scrunched up his face as he deeply concentrated. "Erm…oh I dunno…how about…we just stay in bed!" He picked her up and carried her back into the bedroom as she writhed and giggled in his arms. He laid her carefully on top of the duvet and lent above her, staring deeply into her eyes. Maria's heart skipped beats as she looked into his hazel eyes, love, admiration and lust and fear swam in the depths. It was funny, people tend to find Rath intimidating with the piercings and the tattoos, but Maria believed you only had to look into his eyes to see that he was just a child, a child with a big heart, big insecurities and luckily, a big libido to match. _

"_I love you 'Ria." He murmured as he nuzzled his face into the nape of her neck._

"_I love you too Rath." She sighed and wrapped her arms around him. A small tear leaked out of one eye, as she held him with a heavy heart and half a mind on where Michael may be now. _

_

* * *

_

Michael pulled up outside of his former home, Maria's green Jetta was outside. He had finally found her. He had driven everywhere he could think of, her favourite places in the desert…her house…the park…he hadn't thought she would come to him. Quietly he turned off the car and walked into the flat. It was dark and it took him a moment to see the small lump on the sofa where Maria was huddled.

"Maria!" He rushed forward, kicking several empty bottles to the side. "Maria, speak to me!" She was breathing, but unconscious. Without thinking he picked her up and took her to the bathroom, quickly turning on the shower and carrying her in with him. "Maria, please…wake up!" He pleaded.

Her eyelids fluttered open as the cold water cascaded down their bodies. "Huhh? What?"

"Oh thank fuck." Michael breathed. His arms were still wrapped around her, his body cradling hers, as he stared into her mascara streaked emerald eyes. "You scared the hell out of me!"

"Michael?" Her voice was thick with alcohol, her throat hoarse. "Why are we wet?"

"You were passed out…I didn't know what to do."

"Oh." The silence stretched on as she struggled to form coherent words, her eyes avoiding his. Finally she simply said, "I'm cold."

"Well let's see what we can do about that." Michael picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. Maria had changed the duvet earlier that day, just in case he was going to stay longer, he could have his old place back. Besides, she didn't want to think about the amount of men she'd brought back to that room when he was gone. In her mind, it had been the best way to hurt him.

There was a clean towel on the bed, Michael picked it up and started drying Maria's hair. "Stop it." Maria's eyes welled up as she remembered their roles reversed all those years ago. She sat on the bed and stared at the wall. "I don't need your pity. Just leave me alone."

"Maria…" Michael sat in front of her, forcing her to look at him and into his eyes. "I don't pity you, I…" He swallowed, searching those green eyes for a flicker of emotion, desperately trying to drag the courage from the depths of his soul to finally say it.

Maria gently patted him on the face, "You what? Michael. Love me?" She laughed coldly, and sat back, her callous smirk desperately trying to hide the tears that were building back up again. "You don't even know me. Not anymore. You don't know the things I've done, or that I went back for more. Just like I don't know you."

"Maria, I don't care what you've done, about that phone call…" Michael began.

Maria flinched. "It doesn't matter. We have to move on." She said brusquely, trying to avoid the subject of Cara for as long as possible. She couldn't bear for him to start talking about his girlfriend. "Why did you even come back here Michael? Sounds like you've made your life so wonderful away from all of us."

Michael looked down at his hands, "I missed you…I missed everyone. The longer I stayed away, the harder it was to come back. I wanted to see you again. I'm so sorry for hurting you." His hands clenched with impotent rage. "If I hadn't been so selfish…"

"It doesn't matter." Maria repeated. She took a deep breath and stared at his beautiful face. His lips so inviting, his eyes so deep she could drown in them. She needed to say goodbye. She needed to move on, as he obviously had. "What ever form you take Michael, all you ever do is hurt me. I can't do it anymore. I need you to go, to just leave me alone. Go back to your friends and your art and your…perfect life." Tears spilled over her cheeks as she sat there, broken once again. Her voice finished in a whisper "I'm done. Just done."

Michael's hands shook as he saw the pain etched on her face, marring her beautiful features as a permanent scar. He had done this. "I…I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have come back. I'll leave tonight. "

He stood up and walked towards the door. Before he walked out he paused, and spoke softly, just barely above a whisper. "I do love you Maria, I always have. No matter what." And then he was gone.

Maria's heart broke; she curled up into a ball on the bed, sobbing as his scent still lingered in the air.

*******

TBC


	20. Leaving Normal

**Leaving Normal**

* * *

Michael drove. He drove further and further away, his mind swimming with the latest mess that he had created, trying desperately to put enough distance between him and the heart breaking scene he had just witnessed.

Once again he had fucked Maria up. Once again he had hurt her and now, just to top it all off, he was leaving, again, without a word. What a coward. What an asshole. Maria's cold laugh echoed in his ears as he continued down the road.

She was right. He had been right all long. All he ever does is hurt her. Why couldn't he have just stayed away? Anger and self-loathing churned away at his thoughts as he drove mindlessly back out of Roswell.

The farewell sign loomed towards him, with the glow in the dark alien waving him goodbye, silent and mocking. She wanted him to leave this time. She told him to. A wave of pain ripped through him and he abruptly pulled over to the side of road, the strength of the heartbreak and misery her felt was overwhelming.

He sat down on the rocks and realised he was back there again. The entrance to Roswell. The line that separated his old life to his new, his love to his loneliness.

His hands were shaking. Michael pointed at a small rock and watched it explode, the force flinging dust into the air around him. He pointed at another and watched it do the same. Then another. And Another. Until finally, he felt slightly calmer.

He thought about Maria. This new dark and cold Maria. A Maria who smokes, drinks and looks at him with those angry, jaded eyes. The image still would not reconcile with the babbling, oil smelling girl that had first touched his heart.

Maria said that wasn't his fault. Maria said that most of the damage had been done by her ex husband. If he ever found out who this guy was, Michael knew with a certainty he would kill him. And it wouldn't be quick, and it wouldn't be merciful. But despite her protests, Michael knew that really, it all came down to him. If he hadn't left, if he hadn't been such a coward, too scared of the feelings Maria rose in him, too scared of her finally figuring out that she'd been wasting her time, then none of this would have happened.

His heart twisted.

He couldn't take it back. He couldn't change it. He couldn't erase it all away.

Due to his own actions she was eternally scarred.

As a teenage boy it was no wonder he fell, no wonder he was so helpless before her. She was radiant. She was filled with light and love and it burned away his monsters and his darkness, it pushed through the stone walls and demandingly wrapped him up until there was no escape. He had felt like a fly in a web, and it had paralysed him. How do you fight that? How do you fight love?

So he had run, as far and quickly as possible. Forgetting that Maria was more fragile than himself, forgetting that despite the strength of her light and love, her courage and loyalty, she had no armour. No stonewalls. And in doing so, he had crushed her. Gone was the sunshine that sparkled in her eyes, the warmth of her heart.

And now, as she was on the mend, he decides on a whim to return and fucks her up even further. He had to fix this. He had to make her smile again, make her eyes shine, make her skin flush. There was a lot to be done, lots of loose ends to tie up...

It seemed the roles were now reversed. As a teenage boy all he ever did was push Maria away, too afraid of her breaching his defences. Now it was his turn to be patient, to be persistent, to show her loyalty and love and if he could find some somewhere, maybe a little light too.

He grimaced and sat up, brushing the dust that had settled on his clothes. With now a fierce determination, and hasty sketch of a plan, he stepped back inside his car and continued to drive.

Maybe, he thought, just maybe…there might be some hope.

* * *

**Authors Note:**

Argh so sorry for the delay, though I guess everyone's tired of hearing me say that. I've had an awful few months so there are some real good reasons honest! There's roughly only 10 or so chapters left to write, but now my life is settled again (fingers crossed) I will try and start writing an update more regularly.

Thanks **Loz, Magali, Paradise Desmonda**, **Scorpio6** and **brokenandlonelyangyl** for reviewing and not getting mad! I promise all mysteries will be cleared up soon.

I wish to especially Hannah (LadyBloodless) for her most wonderful message. I really appreciated it. This chapter is for you :D

(Oh and **Sunglasses in the Rain** – this fic has been going for 8 years. It was originally a one-shot but due to demand, I continued the story a very long time after I first posted. And then had a two year hiatus when my mother died.)


	21. Significant Others

**Significant Others**

Everyone had left. Emotions had run high this evening and they all needed time to recuperate from the shock of Michael's sudden presence.

Worried, Isabel stared at Max. The black smudges underneath his eyes and his 6 o'clock shadow emphasised just how worn and old he had become. She never needed to ask what he'd been doing and how he had been living the past 5 years, his face painted a detailed enough picture. She felt like was the axel of a see-saw; when Max was happy and well, Michael had been confused, angry and lost. Now it appeared that Michael had been happy and content when away and instead Max was the one now angry and lost. She was tired of being pulled in between them, trying to make both sides balance in the air.

"Stop it Iz." Max said it quietly, breaking the silence and startling her. He reached over and picked up the photo of Isabel's wedding, looking intently at the image of him and Liz standing side by side.

"Stop what Max? I'm only looking at you. A sister is allowed to look at her brother, especially as its obvious _you _haven't seen yourself lately."

Max ignored her pointed tone, "Iz, I'm fine." He sat down with a long and drawn out sigh. This was a very familiar conversation.

"No you're not!" Isabel exploded and stalked towards him, her brown eyes blazing with fear and concern. "Stop pretending this is normal! Michael is home now, so what are you going to do with your life? You don't have a reason to disappear anymore. I know it must be hard -"

"Iz - " Max warned

She continued, not listening, "-but you can't mourn Liz forever!"

"Isabel goddamnit- "

"No Max! And don't give me the 'I'm a king of an alien planet' speech again. You need to settle down. You need to build a life that doesn't consist of motel rooms. How about college? You could give it a try, you're only 23." Isabel sat down next to him. "I know it was hard to lose Liz, but you have to stop blaming yourself."

Max glared at her, "If I hadn't thrown away my responsibilities and gone chasing after Michael, Liz wouldn't have got hurt."

Isabel took his free hand in hers and gave it a small squeeze. Max glanced at her earnest face, her eyes brimming with unshed tears…"I am _so_ sorry that we couldn't save her, I am so sorry for all of it. I need you Max; your family needs you. I need you to try and heal. She's dead Max, she has been for 5 years. She wouldn't have wanted you to live like this. She wouldn't have wanted to see you throw away any potential of a happy life."

"Oh Iz, don't blame yourself, she wouldn't want that either."

Isabel's pocket started to vibrate. "Oh that might be Michael!" She pulled out her sleek black phone. "Hello? Oh good, where are you? She's _where?!_ No I'm glad you rang. Yes I'll be there as soon as I can. Are you on your way back? Oh…I see…okay, yeah that's fine, just remember you promised! Yes I _will_ see you soon. Love you."

Isabel hung up face Max, biting her lip with worry. "Maria's drunk again, in Michael's old apartment. It appears there was some sort of misunderstanding over a phone call and they had an argument. He's heading back to Santa Fe, but not permanently, just to sort some things out there."

"Guess you're heading over to Michael's then? Is it alright if I crash here? I think I've drunk a bit too much to drive back to the motel."

"Of course, since Michael won't be here tonight, you may as well use the guest room. Could you tell Alex where I've gone? He's probably upstairs working in the study."

Max watched as she grabbed her keys and hurried quickly out of the door. Thank god Michael had phoned when he did, Max thought. He couldn't handle Round 456 of trying to discuss his feelings about Liz.

He walked upstairs, gave a short answer to Alex about Isabel's whereabouts and threw himself onto the spare bed. He was so tired…he was always tired…his eyes drifted closed and within seconds sleep overtook him.

_******_

_Flashback  
_

Max watched Liz, who was watching the couple take their first dance. She looked as beautiful as ever. Her eyes were shining and a wistful smile ghosted across her lips as she observed Isabel and Alex move together in a graceful harmony.

She hadn't spoken to him at all today.

Those arguments over the phone. Through the stress and the worry they both had turned bitter and said things they didn't mean…things they couldn't take back.

Max walked over to her and noticed immediately how her shoulders stiffened as he got closer, her eyes shuttered and closed off. Yeah they would never be able to take it back. But maybe just for one night, they could pretend.

"Liz? Do you want to dance?" Max put out his hand and gave her a lopsided smile. She stared at him, and he could see her beginning to thaw. Her brown eyes darted around the room as she saw other couples heading to the dance floor.

"One dance."

And Liz took his hand.

Her head rested against his shoulder and he held her close, breathing in that familiar scent of her hair and the feel of her body pressed close to his. As they swayed back and forth across the dance floor, he sang the lyrics softly in her ear.

"_Someday, when I'm awfully low… When the world is cold…"_

"Max…." Liz started to protest but he held her tightly .

"Shhh, just for tonight, please…._I will feel a glow just thinking of you…" _She smelled of vanilla and coconut. He held up her chin and stared into her eyes, which were now wet and shining with such restrained sorrow that it hurt his heart to see it. _"And the way you look tonight." _

He finished and kissed her lightly on the lips. For the barest moment, she responded and he felt like every trouble in the world could have disappeared. But then, she pulled away.

"Max don't." Her eyes wouldn't meet his but stared at his shirt instead. "Look, you told me to move on and I am. Sean asked me out on a date and I'm thinking of saying yes." Her voice shook with pain and frustration. "You can't do this to me every time you're in town, not any more. I can't bear it. Please, let me go…just let me go."

She ran away from him, off the dance floor and out of the building. He would have chased after her but he was afraid, he was afraid that he would look into her eyes and see the true damage he had caused. He had saved her life many years ago and he was too scared to see that he had also ruined it.

It was his fault. If he hadn't been a coward, if he had just stopped her from getting into that car…she would still be here.

_*******_

Max opened his eyes, buried his face into the pillow and cried. Every night the same dream, every night he was with her, holding her and every night he failed her.


	22. Ch,Ch,Changes

**Ch-Ch-Changes**

_...She burns like the sun...And I can't look away…_

_And she'll burn our horizons…Make no mistake..._

_3 Days Later  
_

Michael rocked with the music as he concentrated on his latest painting. He'd come home and immediately started working, apart from eating a little and having a few hours sleep each night he hadn't stopped. Black, red and orange oil paint smudges decorated his cheekbones and overalls. He needed to finish this. There wasn't much time left before the gallery opening and this was perhaps the best work he'd ever done.

Rory stood there, his arms folded, quietly waiting for Michael to snap out of the 'zone'. He had learned the hard way when he once interrupted Michael when he was painting, and hadn't stopped hearing about it since. That guy could sure grumble.

Once he noticed Rory there, Michael removed the headphones and turned towards his closest human friend. "Oh hey dude, what's up?"

Rory moved towards the painting. "Wow, man, this is really good. This girl really is your muse huh? You gunna submit it to the gallery?" His eyes traced the curled figure on the canvas.

"I'm going to try but the showing is in two days, I have to finish it by then. Though I should be finished by tonight." Stressed, Michael ran a hand through his hair, causing more paint to highlight his profile.

"So is she coming to the show? Have you spoken to her?" Rory walked to the fridge and grabbed two snapples, automatically throwing one to Michael as well.

Michael shook his head. "I've tried. She won't answer my phone calls. She won't even listen to an explanation. I dunno what else to do. I don't really need her permission to put these paintings up in the gallery but I want her to at least know about it."

"Well dude you're obviously loco 'bout her and for her to react the way she did bout the phone call, she must want you too. I don't know why you crazy kids haven't worked it out yet." Rory smirked and sat down on the couch. "What you gotta do is make a grand gesture. Turn up and be like 'baby doll, I want you and you want me, how bout we go take a ride and see what happens.' "

Michael rolled his eyes, "No more film noir for you. It's warping your mind and making you give really bad advice."

Rory held up his hands in defeat. "All right, all right, have it your way but don't rag on the classics, nothing cooler than a femme fatale."

*****

"So, what was a very bad idea?" Isabel asked with her eyebrow raised, looking more and more like a scolding mother rather than her best friend.

Maria ducked her head down meekly, hiding behind her long blonde curls. "Erm…getting drunk?"

"Yes Maria, getting drunk was a very bad idea. Why was it a bad idea?"

"Uhh…'cause…I had a really bad head in the morning?" Maria smiled widely, perhaps if she just played cute enough; Isabel would stop staring at her such a stern expression.

"Noo…because it made you irrational and you damn well know it. You and Michael are going to patch this up. I was expecting some kind of argument to happen; you _are_ Michael and Maria after all. Him coming back after all this time…well lets just say I was prepared to pick up pieces. But Maria, you gotta get a grip. As you told us, we can't blame him for leaving. Max and I never really understood just how bad it was for him here in comparison to our own lives. I told you the truth about the phone call. Michael's commitment was only to agree to have his artwork put up in a gallery show. So come on…go up there and see him. Or at least ring him!"

Maria wrinkled her nose. "Sounds a bit fishy to me. If it was just about an art gallery, then why did he say to his friend that he needed the 'right time' to talk to me about it?" She sat back against the chair triumphantly. She knew was clutching at straws, but the idea of speaking to him again after that humiliating night, well it made her feel savage and cornered; all teeth and nails, ready to kick and bite and scratch until the thought passed. She felt like she could run a million miles before she would pick up the phone, or if she did pick it up, she was sure no words would come; her stomach would just turn itself inside out. Though she couldn't say that to Isabel, as it was a bit of a weird reaction to a simple phone call.

It was the same fear she'd get when she was younger in school and someone would try and tell the boy she liked that…well...that she liked him. Liz had suffered quite a big bruise on the back of her leg when she'd once tried to ask Doug out for Maria. Maria still remembered the look of shock on Liz's face after she'd kicked her, as no-one had ever hurt Liz before and Liz had never seen such a violent reaction to such a simple and normal playground activity. Maria sighed; she missed Liz so much, she kept expecting to see her there in the Crashdown, chewing on her hair and waiting tables.

Isabel watched Maria as she stared off into space. She recognised that look; it was the Liz-reminisce look. Max got it enough times. "Maria. I don't know what he wanted to tell you, but if you'd just let him speak to you, then you would know and you could end this silliness. Honestly, you both are as bad as the kids."

Maria nodded and finished her coffee. "I know, it's just…I hear his voice and it's too hard to speak to him. Well, we'll see, anyway I gotta run and help Mom at the shop. She's been working me double since the dinner incident, I think she's punishing me for not warning her first. I definitely didn't tell her about the whole getting drunk part; otherwise I think I wouldn't even be let out of the house, despite being in my 20's."

Isabel laughed, "That sounds like Amy, tell her I said hello." She watched as Maria ran off and then dialled a now familiar number.

"Michael? Yeah it's me. Okay I've got an idea…"

*****

Maria threw herself on to the bed; it had been a long day at the shop. Her mom definitely was mad at her, going so far as to make her wear an alien costume outside to bring in more customers. It didn't seem to matter that Michael wasn't in town any more. Maria couldn't believe she'd asked him to leave, why was she so stupid? She had waiting 8 years to see him and then within 24 hour she'd driven him away again.

She stared up at the ceiling and only saw the look on his face as he walked out of the door. His last words echoing in her ears, _"I do love you Maria, I always have. No matter what."_ She squeezed her eyes shut but it didn't matter, his face hadn't stopped haunting her.

Her wedding ring caught her eye on the dresser top. After Michael had seen it she had taken it off, realising there was no reason for her to continue wearing it. The relationship she'd had with Rath was unrepairable, and although it wasn't an excuse for what had happened, she knew she had been the one to drag him down into that emotional mess she'd called living. Certainly not the other way around. She hadn't stopped loving Michael, and because of that she hadn't stopped using drink and drugs to drown it out. Rath started drinking at her own insistence, she flinched remembering slurring at him, saying that it might loosen him up a little.

They'd got married a year after they had met in that club. The first year of being together as husband and wife had been so good, she'd been pretty much sober the entire time. She'd gotten a job as a waitress in Las Cruces and Rath worked on cars while still making trips up to Roswell to see the Pod Squad, although never mentioning Maria to them.

He'd been so amazed when she told him she knew about his alien heritage. He'd sat her down and she knew today was going to be the day he told her and in that moment she loved him for his courage and for the fact that he trusted her so much with such a devastating secret. So instead she told him she knew and told him her own secrets, everything about her past with Michael and the others. She assured him that she did love him and not just because he looked like Michael, which was mostly true…but she was glad he hadn't asked her who she loved more, as that was an answer no-one would have liked.

Unfortunately the depression came back, Rath wasn't Michael, he never could be and she knew he could see it in her eyes sometimes – the disappointment. The drink and drugs started again and that's when Rath joined in. Now, looking back, she can see he had only started drinking and using as well so he was in her world instead of just watching it. But after a few years of this, of Rath occasionally seeing flashes in her head when they kissed or her and Michael, of the silent judgment of him in her eyes when they both were on the drink…that's when he started having rages.

Maria rolled over onto her front and ran her hands through her hair. That past was something she couldn't change, she couldn't undo the hurt and pain that was woven into every memory – whether she was being hurt or hurting others. But, she could get the fuck up and call Michael now and not let another chance slip her by. He may not know who she'd been before, but she certainly wasn't that girl now and she never would be again.

She picked up the phone and looked at the numbers to dial Michael's mobile.

BING

She jumped and stared confused at the phone in her hand. Phones weren't supposed to Bing.

BING

Ohh! Rolling her eyes at being so silly she put the phone down and jumped across to her laptop. She'd got an email message.

-

**To:** Maria DeLuca

**From:** Michael Guerin

**Subject:** Please read it's important!

Maria,

I've re-written this a hundred times and it's still not exactly what I want to say but hey, I've never been that eloquent with this emotional stuff. I'm a painter, not a writer. Isabel gave me your email address; she said it might be easier than talking on the phone for both of us.

Anyway, I know you know about the gallery. That was the big commitment I had to think about, something I have now decided to go along with. I wanted to ask you about it before I said yes as some of my paintings…well…they may be of interest to you. I was hoping you could see them before they went on show to the public but the gallery opening is in 2 days and you won't even talk to me.

I think once you see them you'll know how I feel about you, no matter what you've done or how you've changed. So please, talk to me. I can't lose you. I'm never going walk away again so if you think you can push me away with a little drunken incident like that then forget it. Remember I was the original stonewall, I know all the tricks.

I wish you would come before the gallery opens. With no pressure and no expectations, I just know you and you'll want to see these paintings before others do. We could take this thing slow and start out as friends if you'd like, get to know each other better. I'm happy to do anything to keep you in my life.

Michael.

-

Open-mouthed and dumbstruck she read and re-read the email, sneaky bloody Isabel getting around the whole phone-hearing-his-voice issue! She read it again and tried desperately to claw back her anger and suspicion of him but it wasn't there, it had melted along with the rest of her. It certainly wasn't a romantic sonnet written by Shakespeare but from Michael…it may as well have

She bit her lip and sent an email back.

-

**To:** Michael Guerin

**From:** Maria DeLuca

**Subject:** RE: Please read it's important!

Okay, will be there tomorrow.

Maria

-

She had said before she wasn't very good at this emotional stuff either. Her heart shook her rib cage as it pounded so hard. She was going to Michael's house. She was going to see his bedroom, his roommate, his new life! Maria ran around her room and started to desperately find some outfits that would go with a formal event and a re-conciliatory talk following 8 years of estrangement from the man she had loved. That last one was going to be a toughie!

*****

* * *

**Authors Note: **Happy 2010 everyone! Two new chapters as a present and am currently working on the third. Looks like my muse is back.

Sorry my updates have been so random but hey it seems working full-time and taking night college classes has paid off because I've been accepted to Uni for a degree in English and Creative Writing! I couldn't have done that without you guys! SO thank you for always believing in me and encouraging me! Thank you all so much and hope you had a great new year and xmas. (Oh and the lyrics aren't mine they're from Muse - Sunburn)


	23. How The Other Half Lives

How the Other Half Lives

_I wish I never saw the sunshine..,_

_I wish I never saw the sunshine...  
An' if I never saw the sunshine baby…  
Then maybe I wouldn't mind the rain._

Maria stared unfocused into the mirror. She couldn't do this. So far she hadn't been thinking, all she had done was react. Michael turning up had been so unexpected that all she _could_ do was react. But now - now she was making a choice to actively get _involved, _to live. This was reality. For 8 years she had existed without immersing herself in to the world. During the rough early years without Michael a small part of her had remained coldly objective whilst observing her own behaviour. Despite the pain and anguish, the hysteria and the episodes of rage, a part of her had just watched.

A stranger in her own skin.

Everything following Michael's absence had just sort of happened and she had fallen along with it. She had been just as distant watching herself strip and suck cock for drugs as she had been when she married Rath in Vegas, joyously throwing the bouquet at the Elvis impersonator.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't seriously believe that it could all be wiped away? Tht there would be no trace left behind of the damage, the cracks, the stains, except possibly those few faint shadows - if you really looked hard enough. No. The damage was done and some people are just damaged beyond repair. It will always show; the strain in the smile, the slight quiver of the hand….

She peered harder at her reflection, searching for any obvious signs of the hell she had put her body through. There were dry patches on her cheeks, dark circles and faded laughter lines around her eyes, which only reminded her that once-upon-a-time she used to smile using the whole of her face – instead of just her mouth.

Could she be the person that Michael expected her to be, the person he deserved? Could she hold hands and cuddle on the sofa; laugh together under the bed sheets on a lazy Sunday morning? Was she even _capable_ of being that person anymore?

Maria felt the fear nestle into her chest and take roots. In a sick and twisted way she had enjoyed being empty, being absent from it all, being an _unperson_. Nothing had mattered. Nothing could be lost or taken from her because she had nothing in the first place. As good ol' Tyler Durden said, 'it's only when lose everything can you truly begin to find freedom.' If she now became a Person, if she started to inhabit this thing called Life, tried the happily ever after with Michael and hope for the best…would she survive it if it went wrong? Could she tolerate it if it went _right_?

Her eyes refocused and she glanced at herself once more, it was true the years had not been too good to her. But if she squinted just a little she could see that teenage terror staring back, a girl whose motor-mouth and loyalty had been renowned. Someone who had been passionate about anything that struck her fancy. A girl who had won the heart of the angry 'stonewall' loner that had been Michael Guerin.

The lips opposite her curved into a smile. It was an old smile. It was a 'fuck the lot of them' smile and Maria felt awash with an old feeling: bravado, mixed with a measure of courage and a dash of confidence. It was the Teflon feeling. She reapplied her lip-gloss (ruby red and cherry flavoured) fluffed her hair and flashed a dazzling smile…which this time almost touched her eyes.

_Fuck 'em, fuck 'em, fuck 'em_. The mantra sang in her head as she grabbed her bag and jumped into her car.

She put on her sunglasses and turned the rock music up loud as she drove down the street, barely glancing at the 'Thank You for Visiting Roswell' sign as she passed it.

_Every time I'm close to you…_

_There's too much I can't say…_

_And you just walk away…_

Michael sat and drummed his fingers as he drank coffee and surveyed the apartment. It was clean. Too clean. It made him edgy. Rory had left him alone for the night so Michael had worked off his nervous energy by tiding up. He'd even cleaned the bin. It looked ridiculous. Maria would notice this the moment she came inside. Was that good thing? Did it show her how nervous he felt? Or would she think he had changed so much that he was even tidy at home? Like a final slap in the face, showing her how his life had turned out for the better, when hers had apparently gone down the shithole. Should he mess it back up again?

He gave his head a little shake to clear away the incessantly circular thoughts and gulped down more coffee; strong, two sugars. His fingers unconsciously drummed a new rhythm out on the pine table top. They would have to talk. Not too much though, they were too good at talking themselves out of the relationship. So much baggage, so much history they hadn't touched upon yet.

She still didn't know how crippled he'd been during the first few years apart. How the mindless anger at Hank, at himself, at her sometimes and even at the world for being born (hatched) had nearly driven him clean off the fucking deep end. Hank's voice had kept him company; his voice darker and more twisted, more eloquent in death than he'd ever been in life. A voice that still whispered to him when he fell into his darker moods, but Michael had learned to put it all into the paint. Every kick, every punch, every insult and beer can that had been thrown towards his head. It was these paintings that had made his art professors sit up and take notice.

He didn't think he would have found this catharsis if he had stayed in Roswell. In so many ways the Pod Squad, as Maria had affectionately called them, held each other back. As if they had never hatched from those cocoons, instead they had just increased the radius to include only Roswell, New Mexico. It was stifled and claustrophobic. So he had left, to find other aliens, but hadn't made it as far two states over, but the ambition and strength of his desire to find other aliens had instead led him to find himself.

Surprisingly when the painting became more than just a hobby, he had found he was able to express every thing he felt in those measured (or sometimes haphazard) brush strokes. It was no wonder that he had painted Maria over and over again. So many colours reminded him of her; Red - her passion, her anger, her lips, Blue - her sorrow that she would hide so carefully, Yellow - her hair, her smile, Orange - her voice warm and sensual, and of course Green. Those green eyes would haunt him - follow him no matter where he ran to, he would see them in his dreams with a multitude of expressions glittering beneath their depths and as enigmatic as Mona Lisa's smile.

The irony was no-one cared about the paintings he'd make of his alien life, despite Max freaking out all those years ago. Words like 'abstract' and 'fantasy' were thrown about and no-one thought it was at all strange. Instead he had received a few more sideways-glances for the numerous paintings of Her, although they put it down to what it really was - the Muse that got away. He was praised for not only having artistic talent but for having an artistic temperament as well.

It was a strange world, the art scene.

A knock on the door interrupted his musings and startled him into zapping the brad-new coffee pot with his powers, glass exploded and the shards sprinkled all over the linoleum floor. Maybe it was a sign from the universe that he'd had too much coffee. Or it was just Maria. What was it about that girl that unravelled his self-control? He checked his hair, wiped his nervous, slightly-sweaty hands on his navy jeans and opened the door.

"Hey." He said, as his eyes hungrily drank her in. She looked so much better than the last time he had seen her; drunk, wet and crying on his old bed. She looked more like the Maria he'd met when they'd been cleaning up his flat. Slightly more damaged than high-school-Maria but confident and still sexy as hell.

"Hey" she replied. A beat of time passed quietly and the sounds of muffled conversation from outside drifted in through an open corridor window. Her lips curled into an almost-smirk as she waited, "So…you going to invite me in…or is the hallway all I'm allowed to see?" She sassed

_Shit, Michael! Get it together and stop acting like a dork! _He mentally kicked himself and then stepped back from the door frame with a slight bow, gaining a light giggle from Maria. It'd been a long time since he had heard her laugh and his chest swelled with pride at managing to drag it out of her.

"So this is your apartment? Hmm it isn't quite what I expected, it's so….clean! Your roommate is a bit of a neat freak huh?" Maria looked around the room and recognised the little things that announced that it was Michael's apartment too; there were the Metallica CDs strewn across the sideboard, the Braveheart DVD neatly on top of the DVD player and a broken coffee pot. She said nothing but bit her lip, trying to hide a smile. It was good see that Michael's grown-up life wasn't _completely_ unrecognisable from the boy she had fallen in love with.

"Well…I had some free time this morning, so I figured I should clean up a bit." He busied his hands sweeping up the pieces of the coffee pot. He didn't want to get too nervous again and accidentally blow something else up….that would be pretty embarrassing. He may have been able to deal with Maria amongst the chaos and tearful reunions back home, but as she had said, he didn't know her anymore. Now here she was - in his apartment- dissecting the last 8 years of his life from under that perceptive green-eyed glare.

The apartment was covered in paintings and pictures, the walls were painted in warm browns and reds with two black PVC sofas. It was certainly nicer than any of the places she had ever lived in. "Are any of these yours?" She asked as she inspected each painting. "Other than the dome, I don't think I've seen any of your work."

Now it was Michael's turn to smirk. He doubted that Maria would have been impressed with the endless drawings of her breasts in his notepad. What could he say; he had been a very horny teenage alien. "No, most of them are just pieces I've found and liked. Uhh except for that one," He pointed at the canvas hanging on the kitchen wall, above the chopping board. It was an abstract impression of fruit in a fruit bowl. "that was my first painting after the dome. It's what got me thinking of Art College."

Maria looked at the complex colours and the way pieces of one fruit had been swapped with the others. It was very good. "Well, no wonder. I bet you're excited about the exhibit today, I'm guessing it will mean a lot for your career."

After finally visiting home after so long, meeting Max's doppelganger, hearing about Maria's past and having the possibility of rebuilding a relationship with the only woman he had ever loved hanging over his head…he hadn't given the gallery much thought, other than as a way to show Maria how he still felt. The idea of these paintings becoming a full-blown career was a thought that he'd tried to avoid, he would have been content to stay a student forever, which of course was impossible. Eventually everyone has to grow up and leave the safe haven they've built for themselves.

Maria studied him as a multitude of emotions flickered across his face. Had he always been so easy to read? Or was it just that now, without Hank, he could allow himself to relax and stop schooling his face into neutral. It was a stark difference from the surly and impatient boy she had known way-back-when.

"Yeah it's…exciting but scary I guess. So, you fancy getting some food?"

Maria smiled and nodded, "I could eat."

* * *

Authors Note: MERRY XMAS!

I love all those who have continued to read this after so long, I have no excuses except that I have been working full time and studying in the evenings, plus this September I finally started my English creative writing degree in university. I'm going to try and get more out these xmas holidays, the story is starting its conclusion so please let me know if you're bored or any suggestions as to which way it could go...

I have re-written this over and over and I'm still not 100% happy but ah well...Thank you again for your continued encouragement and review if you can be bothered :)


	24. 285 South

**285 South**

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Dinner was nice and casual, a burger and fries at a nearby diner, something they used to have at the Crashdown when they were teenagers.

Maria had felt sixteen all over again, that immovable weight which had been crushing her for the past few years was lifted and she found it easier to breathe, to smile, to laugh.

It was a nostalgic night, Michael could see the ghost of the old Maria ever so near them when she played with her straw and sent him a saucy smile across the table. As Maria watched the oh-so-familiar action of Michael placing a small heap of Tabasco sauce on his chips she felt a soft warmth spread across her chest and rise to the back of her neck, she had almost forgotten his spicy and sweet dietary quirk.

Rath didn't have that problem and at the time she had been glad there were so many differences between them.

Her mood darkened a little at the thought of Rath, but it didn't last long as she turned to look at _her_ Michael. They were walking through the town centre, it was close to Christmas and Maria enjoyed watching the glowing festive lights reflect off Michael's angular cheekbones. She wished she was a painter or sculptor so she could capture it, before age plundered his face of its youth, even though he immortalised everything else in his paintings, she knew he would never think of painting himself.

Michael stole glances at her as they continued to walk; they hadn't spoken a word in the last few minutes, instead just enjoying the companionable silence.

Sage and Lilac scents hung in the air like an unspoken question, the sweet of the lilac and the earthy tones of the sage mingled into a heady atmosphere. The rustic dusky red pueblo-style buildings appeared to cradle them as they strolled. Despite being well-maintained there was something _worn in_ about Santa Fe's architecture that Michael fell in love with. It was beautiful but damaged, a little tired and with a lot of history. Far from the commercialisation that was embedded in the very roots of Roswell, tourists in Santa Fe were rare and there was a delightful absence of gimmicky signs and neon puns.

Maria thought they'd been walking at random until he abruptly stopped outside of a building that had large glass windows, a white terrace and a white veranda, held up by white pillars. The paint was cracked from heat and age and the building was slightly crooked but it radiated a warm sense of welcoming. It was easy to spot why they were, a large A4 poster was pasted onto one window displaying his name, Michael Guerin, and the dates of the gallery opening – the first of which was the following evening. There was a gold sign hung at the top of the door embossed with _Manitou Galleries _and underneath it, _123 West Palace Avenue_.

Maria's mouth dropped open a little as she realised where Michael's artwork was being displayed: Manitou Galleries is very well known in the art world. The university of Art and Design in Santa Fe is also very prestigious but she hadn't realised just how far Michael's career had blossomed until now. For Manitou Galleries to be showing his entire collection well….he must be a pretty big deal. She shot Michael a questioning look, unsure why he had brought her here tonight when she'd packed a cocktail dress and her fanciest makeup for the grand opening tomorrow.

She opened her mouth to speak but Michael quickly cut her off. "I just need you to see this before the public do…" He answered cryptically.

Michael took out a key and ignored the slight tremble in his fingers as he opened the double wooden doors. This was the moment he had been dreading and hoping for. He felt sick. With a shaky breath, that he made no effort to hide, he took Maria by her hand and pulled her inside as he turned on the lights. He didn't look at the paintings hung on the walls; he'd supervised the way the paintings had been placed, the layout of the collections.

Instead he watched her reaction, trying to memorise every flicker of emotion that ran across her face, every colour reflected in her eyes. It was this moment that would define their future; whether she would run from him as fast as her little legs could carry her, or if she would stay, stay and be with this new (if slightly obsessed) person that he'd become.

Maria's eyes refocused as the soft fluorescent lights flickered on in the dim room, lighting each collection at a time. A small gasp left her lips before she could stop herself. The walls were alternately painted in white or that sandstone-rose that was on each of the surrounding shops and houses. Paintings ran along the sides of the room; each with an individual plaque proclaiming the title and a gentle spotlight above it. The room was separated by a long wall that ran down the middle of the room, the centre of which was dedicated to a sizeable painting and a few others dotted around it. The collection was titled**_ Maria_** in bold golden letters.

Her heart stopped, literally. It stopped and didn't resume until a few seconds later when she started to wheeze ever so slightly. It was like her insides had decided to shut down, understanding more than her brain would allow her to.

The painting was amazing. It was dark, vicious, and agonisingly beautiful. It vibrated with fiery reds, harrowing blacks and scornful swathes of jade. It was of a fallen angel whose golden blonde curls had been tumbled haphazardly; she was wearing a torn green dress and was curled up, weeping, on a black iron-post bed. The haze of reds and blacks obscured the sides of the bed and filled the background as if she were in hell itself. One wing was raised as if in a desperate plea to leave, whereas the other hung limp behind her. Her cat-green eyes seemed to follow you around the room as the black makeup around them had smudged and mixed in with her tears. There was a desperate hope in her face that haunted you. It was exquisitely painful to look at.

Around this painting were smaller normal sized paintings, which repeatedly contained a green-eyed blonde girl with pouty red lips and long elegant legs. There were 7 in total; not including that one in the middle - larger than real-life Maria. _Was this really how he saw her?_ The fallen angel resonated very deeply, if you took away the wings and the torn dress and she could imagine that it was her only a few days ago when she had drunkenly told Michael to leave. The others however, they looked like older paintings and the subject looked far less damaged. _Michael must have been painting me for years!_ She realised as she saw how perfectly she had been put onto paper. Each painting told a moment of their relationship before everything had changed; one was even entitled 285 South as an homage to her abduction.

"Oh Michael…." She breathed, at a loss for what she could possibly say to all of this.

Her heart had stopped skipping beats; instead now it appeared to be collecting the ones it had missed, hammering twice as fast. One of the smaller pictures caught her eye, it was of the night he had left, the night she had lovingly bestowed on him her virginity as a goodbye gift. She stepped closer with a shaky hand outstretched as she stared at the image of herself asleep on her childhood bed, a tangle of a limbs, one rounded breast shyly peeking above the sheet, her hair in a sensual disarray.

Her mouth opened and closed. Naked. She was naked. She was naked in a painting that is being showcased in the most prestigious gallery in Southwest America. Many people were going to be looking at her nipple tomorrow night and she had to be there and see them looking at her nipple. Her hands fumbled in her pocket for a bottle of Eucalyptus essential oils. She had spotted a small stall on the way to Santa Fe and had decided to pick the habit back up again, it was better than jonesing for something stronger like a joint or a fifth of Jack.

Michael continued to watch her silently, nervously. With the critical eye of an artist; he compared his work to her face, knowing it had all been done by memory instead of having her sit for him - which was the preferred method. The eyes were slightly more curved than they should be, the nose a touch too small and her hair was a shade lighter but it was still a striking likeness. He felt a wave of pride as he continued to compare, he had actually done a pretty great piece of work. The pride was quickly replaced with concern and deja-vú as he witnessed Maria take unsteady gasps from a small brown vial. Maybe he had done too much of a good job.

Maria threw down the vial, not happy with the lacklustre result, how could she think that eucalyptus oils would take away her cravings. The bottle didn't shatter – it just bounced across the glossy tiled floor with a quiet _plink_!

She glared Michael's mute figure, irritated with his unusually calm mood. "Oi _buddy say_ something!" She shouted and began to pace. "Explain all of – of – This!" She waved a furious hand in the air towards the numerous reflections of herself, unnerved at their accuracy and the silent meaning behind them. Those looming three words that seemed to repeat themselves over and over and over within every brush stroke, so undeniable that Maria's carefully constructed self-defences wobbled every time she looked at those paintings.

No longer could she protect herself like Michael had, with walls made of solid stone, smooth and cold to touch. Now her defences were becoming insubstantial, jellified, a raging heat was spreading through her body and she found herself conflicted with so many emotions. She wanted to kill him, kiss him, run away. She wanted to grab the paintings off the wall and throw them out the window. They mocked her, this silent paper Maria had experienced far more of Michael than she'd ever had. Of course it hadn't mattered to him that he'd left her behind because he could just replicate her whenever he wanted. She didn't even have a photo of him.

_Yeah but you had Rath. How is he going to feel about that? _A sly voice piped up in the back of her mind. The thought shocked her into a stillness. Shit. Shit. Stupid conscience was right. He didn't know and eventually he'll find out.

Michael watched as Maria turned to him, her mouth opened and closed and seemed unable to say anything more. All in all, she had reacted as best as he could have hoped for. She easily could have gone far more bezerk than throwing a tiny bottle of oil. He walked forward slowly, as if not to spook a particularly wild animal, and took her warm hand into his. He faced the paintings and continued to stare at them as he spoke, not sure exactly what he was going to say but he had the feeling it was going to be more than he should say.

"The night when I left sort of followed me around. I couldn't sleep much, I kept seeing your face and it was driving me crazy. So I would draw and draw in my sketchpad – like I was trying to draw you out of me but it never went anywhere. Then after a few years I did that competition, got a scholarship to college and started to paint again. So I painted you. I think somewhere inside I thought that if I just painted you perfectly, if I captured everything that made you who you were, then I would be free of you and I could try to move on - as I was sure you had." Michael glanced sideways, feeling the weight of Maria's stare and saw that her face had softened, her eyes were shiny and a little wet.

He fixed his gaze firmly on the floor as he continued, "But there's too much of you to put into one painting. I can remember all of these things about you that are untranslatable to canvas, like the sound of your voice, the taste of your lips, that fact that you avoid odd numbers as much as possible because they freak you a little. I can't paint any of that. So I gave up. I figured you would have found a better person to be with, got married, had a few kids and was working on your music. I just accepted that I'd never be over you and got on with my life. Occasionally painted you when I remembered another expression, another moment, but also painted other things. But then I saw Max in a bar and I just couldn't pretend any more. I hadn't found any aliens which before made me feel like a failure so it had been easier to stay away, but after seeing him look so…old….I had to come back. Although others had been pushing me, I wasn't going to tell you about the gallery. I thought it wouldn't be all that big and you probably wouldn't hear about it. But then when I saw you, when I heard about…your marriage, I knew I couldn't be a shit-scared teenager anymore. Not with you. I…."

Maria, mid-panic, cut him off before she could hear it. "Michael! Don't." She avoided his eyes, ignoring the stunned expression and the flash of pain that swept across his face. "Michael, you must know I'm damaged. I won't be that other girl, the girl in these paintings. I can't save you anymore." She nervously played with one of her blonde curls, the black nail varnish on her fingers were worn and chipped away absently reminding her to re-paint them when she got home. Michael's eyes were boring into her, seeing through that now pudding-like barrier, making her breath catch fire and her heart drum out an old tribal rhythm. His dark eyes saw everything, remembered everything.

He took her face between his hands and stared deeply into her eyes, making sure she saw the sincerity in his.

"Maria," He said slowly, deliberately, "as you know, that middle painting is of you now. Damaged, dark and still easily the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. Maybe all of this, Hank, me leaving, your marriage, college, maybe all of this has lead up so it's not you who saves me anymore, or me that saves you. Maybe it's so we can save each other." The nausea returned and Michael felt his stomach do a double-loop a he realised that he was going in for the kiss. Maria's eyes were glittering, her lips were crying out to be tasted, that cherry flavour so close he could just swipe his tongue across the bottom lip, the red shimmer sending his pulse skyrocket.

He pressed his lips to hers, gently but firmly with such a sense of longing underneath it that Maria couldn't help but return it. Explosions. Fireworks. A million movie montages ran through her head as she opened her mouth and pressed herself against his hard body, feeling the rough swipe of his tongue against her lip-gloss and then massaging her own. The knots in her stomach disappeared; the ache in her chest blossomed and spread across her entire body. She writhed as one of his cool hands slipped underneath her t-shirt, across the burning skin of her back, fingers grazing the side of her breast. The other hand was clamped on the roundness of her arse, holding her tightly against him, sparks of pleasure ran up their spines as they rubbed against each other. Flashbacks of erasure closets, bleachers, and the Crashdown kitchen all came back to her in a blinding sensation.

Then she saw herself. Many images of herself. A door opens and she's standing there – from earlier today, again when they were teenagers and her hair is much shorter, her sweeping the diner, her lips, her eyes, her legs, her smile, her singing in her bedroom, her drying him off and holding him at night, her crying on the bed, her looking up at him during their lovemaking, the vulnerability…she could feel his sorrow during that night, so thick he couldn't swallow past it to speak, to say the words he so eagerly needed to say.

Their mouths broke apart but they remained in each other's arms. Michael's eyes were glazed but Maria's were wide open, she had finally got the flashes and they were all of her. A tear slipped down her face as she brushed her lips against his cheekbone, silently thanking him for loving her so much. But Michael didn't respond. Michael slowly pulled away from Maria and untangled himself from her arms. His face was furrowed, as if he had been given a puzzle that just wouldn't come up with the right answer.

"Michael?" Maria queried, her voice losing all strength as she witnessed a return of his silent stature. There was an electric charge in the air that she could feel crackling away. Her heart began to pound as she realised what he may have seen.

She had seen the flashes. She had finally seen the flashes. He must have seen some too.

She ignored the dark memories rising, trying to clamour for attention. Rath hitting her. Rath throwing beer cans. Rath tying her up. Rath shapeshifting into Michael and raping her. The nights before Rath. Sex behind a club. Empty. Numb. Drugs. Rough fingers scratching her skin as they pushed in dollar notes. She ignored them and kept her eyes trained on Michael, hating the instant terror and fear that seized her body as a secondary instinct.

Michael swallowed. His eyes refocused and looked back into her wide ones. He opened his mouth a few times before licking his lips and finally asking her what he needed to know. "Maria," he murmured, "who was your husband and why does he look like me?"

TBC

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**Authors Note:**

**Thank you so much _ValentineBabe _and _Ti88_ for your reviews, they really helped me work on this chapter at such a speedy pace!**** I guess it's only you two who are actually reading this any more, SO I hope you're enjoying it! If you have any suggestions let me know. Sorry about the cliffie, I couldn't help myself.**

** Ti88 - **thank you for reviewing, don't worry we will get back to the other characters as well, I haven't just left them. Yeah originally Liz's death was going to be a bigger storyline but writers block hit me so badly and the story had been going on for so long that I wanted it to still have an impact but to just get it out of the way aswell. I hope it didn't come as too much of a letdown.

**ValentineBabe - **Thank you so much for reviewing, I'm a terrible lurker myself sometimes so I really appreciate it and also I appreciate the compliments :D they cheered me up a lot over christmas.

**The next part might be a in a week or two, as I have essays to write for uni and a chest infection to battle. But I promise I will not leave it so long as I have done before. My lazy muse has come back and I've captured it. Reviews keep her alive lol.**

**Thank you again for continuing to read!**


	25. Monsters

**Monsters**

Michael kept his gaze on the floor as he waited for an answer.

He was still trying to sort through the bombardment of memories; it hadn't been like before, a cute little blonde girl whose loneliness had mirrored his. Now they were just ugly pictures of a sallow, shrunken woman harbouring a desperate, tearing contempt for the world and herself. And there was his face, but it wasn't him, this guy has a mohawk, piercings, a contemptuous grin, and bloody, bruised fists that rose up and down. His mind recoiled at that final image, shying away from a memory that tugged too closely to his own abuse. There were also moments of tenderness intermingled with the others, Not-him brushing her hair from her face, Not-him smiling whilst doling out butterfly kisses, tucking her into bed….but oddly enough with every tender caress that was received, there was Maria's rage that laid beneath it - a raging, longing, belligerent disappointment.

He looked up at Maria as the silence dragged on. Her breath was coming in short pants as she stood there stiffly, her eyes wide and unreadable. Had his clone been her violent husband? Great. Not only had someone brutally damaged the love of his life, but it had been done with _his_ face?

Michael's stomach lurched in a desperate bid to rid itself of his earlier dinner. His legs folded up underneath him as he crumpled onto the cold tile. He stayed there, cross-legged in the middle of the gallery with his head in his hands, taking deep breaths to calm his rebelling gag reflex. It was as if he had done it, not this Other-Michael. His worst nightmare had been realised; in a twisted way a part of him had turned into Hank after all. His hands had hit her, his face had smirked. Her memory of those raw and unrelenting fists was stuck on repeat as they came down over and over in front of his eyes.

Maria gently sat down opposite him; the paralysis which had trapped had suddenly broken when she saw him collapse. As she held his hand firmly in her own, she rubbed her thumb across his palm in soothing sweeping circular motions.

"I'm sorry…" She whispered. "I should have told you but I didn't know what to say." She laughed a little bitterly, "You must be so angry with me."

Michael flinched at her amusement, hearing the sardonic sounds of a fractured being in every ringing note. He yanked his hand away as her concerned touch seared him. "_You_ shouldn't be sorry. Isn't it obvious to you now how dangerous I am? I did the right thing by leaving."

"But um- that wasn't…"

"It wasn't me, but it could have been! Same DNA, same face, same person." His words were coming out strained and harsh and Maria suspected he was trying not to cry.

"Michael…" Maria breathed, unsure what to say that would make this screwed-up situation better. She hadn't expected him to turn inwards like this, shouting- yes, stuff blowing up- most likely, him wanting to kill Rath or being angry with her – almost definitely. But not this. Not this…internal devastation.

She bit her lip and scooted behind him, ignoring the throb of her butt-cheek against the very cold and hard floor. Angling her body so he was now between her legs, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his back, attempting to push the love, trust and warmth she felt for him through their physical proximity. If he wouldn't hold her hand then she would have to up her game - full body attack. He jumped slightly but she clung on and he began to relax into her tight embrace.

"Shhh…it wasn't you. He isn't you. You didn't do this." She murmured repeatedly, her lips gently brushing against the smooth and vulnerable skin at the base of his neck. Maria remembered that spot used to drive him crazy, but this wasn't the time to think about the long-ignored tension that rested between her legs.

These words were for comfort. They were not sweet nothings, they were important. She needed them to sink in: she needed him to believe. They rocked gently together as the outside world fell away and time ceased to move, her breath went in and so did his. Her breath went out and so did his. They were one being, one entity and nothing mattered in that moment except making sure Michael knew how she felt about Him. Not Rath. Michael. She knew the difference.

"Michael, I know there's darkness in you. Eight years ago you were quick to believe that you could hurt me and now here you are again, blaming yourself for someone else's actions." She admonished gently, while continuing to hold him close. "You and Rath may share DNA and many other things but you certainly don't share the same upbringing. Unlike Rath, you had Hank show you the worst of humankind every day - the depth of a man's darkness - and because of this you changed. Your temper changed. Whatever darkness you may still have – I would bet my life that you could never harm an innocent."

She bit her lip, awaiting a response, but now more sure than ever that perhaps she and Michael could really work it out. As terrible as she felt about it, she was a little thankful that Michael's life in Santa Fe had not entirely repaired his fractured soul. That scarred and brusque man was the man she had fallen in love with. In a perfect world, neither of them should have gone through such terrible ordeals. Maybe in a parallel universe there was an equally undamaged Maria and undamaged Michael bickering and laughing together, but she was glad she had found him in this one. After everything she had been through she understood him now more than ever before and maybe what Michael really needs in his life is for someone to depend on him for once, for him to kiss away the bruises, rather than the other way around.

Softly, breaking Maria out of her musings, Michael responded with a barely-there, "Ok." His distress had faded slightly as he noticed the position they'd been sitting in. The radiating warmth from Maria's body, her soft breath on the back of his neck, it was beginning to make sitting down in his close-fitting Levi's a little uncomfortable. He tapped her hand, an unspoken signal of needing to get up, and quite ungracefully they attempted to stand once more.

They faced one another. The whole evening had been so highly strung, so overwrought with buried emotion and misplaced blame that when they stood, panting slightly, staring into each other's eyes, they both began to laugh. The whole situation, aliens, abusive clones, Maria on drugs and Michael the artist - it seemed incredible and hysterical. They held on to each other as they laughed away the pain and the worry and the blame.

Michael looked down into her eyes and his laughter faded, it had been a long time since he had seen someone look at him like that – not in a pleading way, or in a predatory way, but someone who saw right through him and still admired who he was. His heart hammered out a drum solo as he brushed his fingers across her face, moving a lock of hair that had tried to join in on the mirth. No matter how often he had painted and sketched her, nothing compared to the real thing. Her lips were full, moist and more inviting than he could ever manage to copy on to canvas. He swept a finger slowly across her lips, causing them to part, her face flushed from the gentle attention and desire sparked beneath through those emerald orbs.

Her gaze fell to his mouth.

He was lost.

Michael lunged forward and so did she. Need spilled out of them, hot, frantic and desperate. Lips met lips and their bodies ignited. The shaking, quivering fervour of their lust, denied for so long, spread through their nerve endings and they were unable to still themselves - unable to think. Maria gasped as Michael's lips suckled the delicate spot on her neck, Michael groaned into her skin as her hands sought for purchase under his clothes and her fingernails scraped his back. Blind with want, he wished for nothing more than to meld his body into hers, to satisfy this feverish craving for his skin against her skin. An inch between them was an inch too far. One of his hands were in her hair, the silky strands releasing her scent, a combination of jasmine and ylang-ylang - sweet and spicy, sent another bolt of heat to his groin, his erection becoming increasingly painful as her body pressed against his.

Then she was gone.

The lack of her body warmth sent a chill across his arms as he watched Maria suddenly rip herself away and take several dazed steps backwards, almost bumping into the display on the wall. Michael panicked, _Shit. It was too much. Too soon. For fucks sake, she's only been out of hospital six months after she was raped and you're practically mauling her in public._ The idea alone that he may have rushed her or scared her dumped a bucket of ice on his raging hard-on.

Before he could apologise, Maria grabbed him by the hand and started pulling him towards the gallery's entrance. "What Maria? What's wrong?" He asked, concerned by her silence and impatience.

"Flat. Bed. Now." She said shortly and dragged him back out onto the pavement. For a little girl, she sure was strong. The sound of her voice, thick with lust, fanned his own desire back into life and he hastily tried to think of the quickest route home whilst locking the Gallery door.

"Right…errr…..taxi."

* * *

Maria's soft giggling and their hushed voices floated down Michael's staircase as Maria ran her hands underneath his t-shirt. Michael desperately wished he had forgotten to lock his flat door, just this once, not able to concentrate on opening the damn thing when she was purring into his ear. He had waited too long, they had waited too long, and by all the deities on this stupid planet, he wasn't going to let a flimsy wooden door stop them now.

He turned, picked up Maria, let her legs wrap around his waist and then kicked the door open, barely moving his lips from hers when he shot out his leg and kicked it closed behind them. Patience wasn't a virtue. Not when it came to this. Eight years of not seeing her beautiful body spread out before him; Eight years of not watching her body flush with pleasure. If he had been any more patient he would have had to join a monastery – or at least a damn Jonas Brothers cult.

He maneuvered them around the furniture and into his bedroom, clumsily dropping her onto the bed. She bounced slightly on the deep blue sheets and laughed, a light tinkling noise that contained none of the bitter notes he'd heard previously. He made her happy. It was this sudden realisation that made him slow his pace, this wasn't some lust-fuelled fumble with a nameless blonde chick, this was **Maria**. The one girl who he would die for, kill for. The only girl he could imagine, no…the only girl he _wanted _to spend the rest of his life with. This was it and he wasn't going to fuck it up this time.

Maria lay down on the bed, allowing his gaze to linger over her as she elongated her body. Propping herself up on her elbows, her eyes were hooded over slightly and appeared to whisper naughty deeds to his subconscious.

His throat was dry. He couldn't believe he was feeling like such a little girl about this, if Rory could see him now, or those other girls he had repeatedly kicked out of bed…

Maria took a deep breath as she watched him move towards her. It was really happening. This was really happening. It had taken all of her sordid experience to appear calm and relaxed in front of him, and not like a cornered animal or easily spooked horse. Michael seemed to be her first for many things, he had been her first boyfriend, her first alien, her first lover and now he was going to be the first person she gave herself to since the ugly mess with Rath. She may have filled out more in the breast department since Michael had seen them but there were far more blemishes and scars too – yet despite a small voice trying to convince her differently – she knew he wouldn't care. She could see in those whiskey brown eyes emotions what appeared to be far greater than love, more fierce than loyalty – what he was offering her was the devotion of a warrior and her heartbeat responded in kind, drumming out that ancient tribal rhythm of when a boy and a girl fall in love.

Their lips met in a gentle brush, the frenzied passion that had overtaken them in the Art Gallery had been quelled to a steady roar. Every inch of her skin felt sensitive, her nerves heightened to the point of breaking. The kiss deepened and the intensity of Michael's emotions swept across her as they fit perfectly into each other. His hands, god his artistic nimble hands, they swept under her top and smoothly removed it over her head, as hers deftly undid his belt. Michael stopped for a moment and just stared at her bra-clad torso. She forced her eyes not to waver from his piercing stare, and her body not to bolt from the bed, biting her lip in defiance of her jangled nerves.

He let out a breath in one big whoosh and ran a hand through his light spiky hair, "God, Maria, the things you do to me. " He muttered and Maria flushed at the compliment. Just knowing how she affected him was all she needed to pull him back to her, their pace sped up ever so slightly, as if to reclaim that small window of wasted time.

Michael bit back a moan as her hands returned to his belt, he hoped that by pulling away it had calmed himself down considerably, otherwise this perfect night was going to be over sooner than he would like. He loved how her eyelids fluttered when he ran his thumb lightly across her breast, how she would arch her back into his caress, utterly abandoned to the moment. They spent hours re-acquainting themselves with each other's bodies; the intense sensuality was nothing they had ever experienced before. When they finally merged together it was with an almost religious fervour which made the world spin at a dizzying pace, until finally the universe exploded.

Michael held her tightly in his arms and the feeling of loss; the sensation of a ghostly absence like a limb had been banished. He knew their conversations and drama weren't over, there was a lot to work through but for now - he was finally content. He kissed her forehead as she sleepily lay draped across his chest and he fell into the most restful slumber he had ever experienced.

* * *

**Authors Note:**

Hopefully it hasn't been too long for you for this part. Quicker than others have been ;) I kept going over and over this one, wanting it to be as best as I could make it - I'm still not too sure, so if you think its rushed let me know. I did think about just leaving it and going back to the other Roswellians lives but I couldn't be that cruel. The next part will focus on them and maybe a few more surprises in store...

**Kit147 - **Don't worry I tend to lurk myself so I understand, good to know you've been enjoying it I always appreciate hearing comments :) I too am a candygirl at heart (as you may be able to tell) and I think I will always be.

**Ana - **Heh yeah they're all a little twisted in some way or another. I think the point is that many believed if Michael left he would be the one who fell apart in the outside world, but as we saw from him being emancipated and working jobs, when given the chance he's the most stable.

**ValentineBabe - **I hurried as quick as my uni workload would let me. Hope it wasn't too long :) I'm off for a month so fingers crossed I can pump out a few more parts by the time I go back.

**Liz - **Haha I'm glad I can hook a few people. I can't believe the fic has been going for so long, I'm so happy you liked it and I hope you enjoyed this part too. (and that the suspense didn't really kill you )!

**Andie2313 - **Don't you worry, Maria/Rath stuff will be coming and I'll be looking at more flashbacks and the other Roswellian dynamics as well. Thanks for the feedback!

**Ti88 - Wha**t can I say but how much I look forward to your feedback every chapter! I'm pleased you liked it, and I agree about Liz - I felt that she put him under a lot of unnecessary pressure. Something I'd hoped to show through the flashbacks.

**Magi343 - Th**anks for the feedback, good to know that my attempt at suspense is working :)


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